| When I started with programming, everything was interesting and it promised to be a never ending challenge. Solving puzzles and fitting different pieces into place to create new things is awesome, but this part of work faded with time. Instead, it turned out to be mostly connecting pieces that don't fit correctly and covering it up. It's not that it wouldn't be possible to do better, but I can't think of a way doing it without loosing too much time and therefore money. Also, the feedback loop of implementing and debugging seems to have a negative conditioning effect suggesting me a rather negative outcome of situations in general. To overcome struggles like these I observed many programmers, myself included, obsessing with improving their programming tools and skills. Searching for and thinking of paradigms, techniques, languages, frameworks etc. that could improve the work started to become an important part of my day and from my observations, others too. This may have improved my programming skills and work quality, but it did not make me enjoy the work more. With time I started to hate computers. Not because they don't improve my life in some aspects, but because I'm one of those that make them work. Even if its not my own software or computer, I cant help but try to figure out whats wrong with them because my work trained me to search for the problem. That said, I'd love to do something different, but I struggle to find something else that fits me. PS: I could go on writing about this, but I feel tl;dr is around the corner. PPS: More than trying to solve my personal problems I was searching for like-minded people |
For me I'm frustrated because I find it harder now to work, and yet I'm more skilled. When I was a crappy programmer (and by no means I am that good now) in some ways I was better. Perhaps because it's easier to see your target when you know less. Ignorance is bliss and all that. The more you know, the more choices perhaps are there to be made - and that can lead to paralysis.
I ended up with RSI that pretty much spelt an end to using a computer for at least 12 months. I've tried to battle on through it. But at that moment I had a similar worry: what am I going to do?
I can't hate computers, as much as I can't hate TV or man. I loathe the time I loose when sitting beside a computer, I've lost many days. And just end up loathing myself. I'm also a perfectionist which doesn't help. Especially with programming, as there is no perfect way of writing a program. And there isn't that much of a tangible outcome with programming (but I guess that also depends on what you are writing) For example if I were to contribute towards say some software on the mars rover, or a life support machine - I might get an immense reward in what I'm doing compared to writing yet another load of CRUD.
I love it when I see simplicity, or apparant simplicity. Something like when your computer just works, compared to wasting hours troubleshooting when all you want to do is print out something. That's the frustration I have with programming - it seems like you do so much for so little.
One day in the garden and I make noticible change. One day on the computer, and the house is still a mess, shelves need putting up and the washing up still needs to be done. It's no wonder why we get frustrated.
Having said that, I don't know what your work is. But for me, most websites could be replaced with a one sized fits all solution. Think of all that time saved.
If all the precious hours programmers labored instead were spent putting the world to rights - we'd have a far better world! Lots of talent in my mind is being wasted. But perhaps people are just happy being occupied.