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Should I give up?
9 points by rolledover 4777 days ago
I'm 31 now, and I left my job a while back because the work did not excite me.

It was a nice job and paid well, but I had no love or passion for anything in that industry

I have lived a nice life. Probably too nice. My expectations are too high probably.

I made myself into a millionaire (barely), had a lot of fun, did a lot of traveling, dated pretty women, lived completely like a bachelor my whole life, but I want a lot more.

I want to have 100's of millions of dollars. I want to be an angel investor and political figure who helps propel this world into the place we deserve and our kids deserve.

I've been trying to start, but I don't know what to start on. I am just spinning my wheels. Every time I sit down to code, I can't even start. All I see is that it will probably take me 10 years to make anything legit. By then, I'll be in my 40's. It probably won't even work out, and the chances are so slim that I'll ever be as successful as I want to be.

I guess I should just go back to what I was doing before and accept that life is a bitch, and I have it better than most people. But I just cannot see myself doing it.

Part of me just wants to enjoy life right now until I run out of money, then just peacefully go. I don't really have a desire to live a regular life, all of my daydreams and aspirations are grandiose.

I feel trapped and I feel stuck. Which sounds like a hell of a statement from a young 30 something who has plenty of runway to get something started. I just really don't know where the hell to begin, and everywhere I do begin feels like such a long haul or impossibility, that I give up before even really doing anything.

13 comments

I can relate to your situation. I quit my very well paid i-banking job last week as I had no passion whatsoever and started really hating what I was doing. I was full of plans but a few months into it I realised that what I was aiming for was too big a job. It took me another few months of starting out different, almost random things (without ever getting anywhere) before I recently, nearly by chance, stumbled across an idea that was small enough to build a prototype for in a couple of weeks and seems to have hit some real demand out there. It's a github like thing for spreadsheets that allows people to do diffs and stuff on their spreadsheets. And here's the irony of the story. My old job that I hated so much involved a lot of Excel monkey work. When I quite my job, it never even occured to me that this could be a useful thing as I was chasing some high-flying fancy idea. And the fact that I didn't have financial pressure didn't help much either as there was never really the need to get something off the ground quickly. So the short of it is, (though I don't feel like I'm really in a position to give you any advice), maybe you can find something that makes use of what you did before? Even though it might look like a tiny little problem not worth pursuing? There's so much talk about building something disruptive these days that the little problems people deal with get overlooked so easily. And quite often it doesn't have to be a cutting edge complex engineering solution. So, please, don't give up and don't look back. If you hated what you were doing, it's not worth it.
You’ve got to change your perspective. One million dollars is an insane amount of money for 99.9% of the world population. With that amount, there are limitless possibilities for things you can do that have a real impact on people.

Why couldn’t you be a philantropist with one million dollars? Pick a cause, start a foundation. For me, I’d set up a place where kids in less privileged areas can come after school and learn to channel their creativity through skills that they can use later on in live. A hacker school/maker space for street kids, if you will. But that’s me, I’m sure you have a passion for something that you can use.

From what I read, you’re thinking ass backwards. Your think you want 100’s of millions, be a prominent figure. But that’s not how it works. You get rich or famous by doing things you love to do with a passion. That’s the crux here, you have to find your passion. What drives you? What excites you? What do you love to do? Those are questions that you have to answer before you start coding on a random project. For these question, a coach/mentor could be really helpful. Good luck!

Maybe you should take some time to really focus on how you want to propel this world into the place our kids deserve. What are the most important problems that you see? Can you see any solutions? What can you do to help? If you can answer these questions then maybe you have the beginning of a business, or maybe the quest will lead you to a job with a startup or help you find a partner to build a business with.

As you said you don't have the money to be an angel investor. You also don't have the experience of building a successful business which is a huge weakness if you're an angel investor. Perhaps you should take things step by step...

1. Decide what you want to contribute to the World 2. Build a business that will make you wealthy while making the World a better place 3. Use the money and experience to help other people build businesses that help you achieve your objectives to make the World better 4. While you do this build the political authority, connections and followers that will help you implement the changes you want to make.

Anyway, if you can find something you really believe in, something that you are really passionate about, if you can make a plan that will really help other people then you'll stop feeling sorry for yourself. This sense of purpose will give you the motivation to work when you don't feel like it. And if you setup a business and it fails at least you will have helped make the World a better place.

Finally, once you know your purpose, don't accept that it will take 10 years to create something legit. Its important to keep the big picture in your mind but more important to achieve things quickly in the short term (a few months). Check out lean startup methodologies. There's also an excellent online course by Standford in Technology Innovation that might be of interest.

Wow!

1. No, you should not give up.

2. You need to find a "coach". This could come in the form of a mentor, a life coach, a therapist. A third-party who can help you refine your goals and work out a plan of milestones to get from here to there. (Refining goals is important...you have a lot of big goals.)

3. I feel trapped a lot too...and agree that everything seems like a long haul or impossibility. What I've learned about myself is that I learn by doing, and that the key is just doing things. What I mean by that is that I just try stuff and as I'm doing it I figure out if it's what I want to be doing. That's earned me a little bit of a bad rap as a person who starts things and doesn't finish them. But, the alternative is worse: a person who sits thinking about how things are too impossible and never does anything.

4. I don't mean to dampen your ambition, but part of the problem is that you're too damn ambitious. I have a little saying: to build a big business, you have to build a small business first. In other words, if you have big dreams...and you do...you're not gonna go from 0 to 60 overnight. Rome wasn't built in a day. Start with a small ambition, achieve it, then build on that success and make it bigger.

5. And, don't give up...you're only 31 and you're already on third base.

Thank you. I really do need a coach, and definitely also a therapist. I wish I could find both, even if (or probably better if) separate people.

I would do anything at this point, even if to just intern, work with a coach, or be around the environment that I want to be in, I would leave this place with 6 months rent left on it and move anywhere within the week.

Alright, here's a an idea if you feel like putting your money where your mouth is. New Zealand is a good place to start. I'm not sure which country you're in right now but I notice far too often that people aren't willing to move to another country even if it may be the best thing for them. I'm working on projects that affect a good percentage of this country, mostly because of its short reach.

Just don't live in Auckland.

Just visited New Zealand (South Island only) for the first time, and can confirm it's an amazingly beautiful country and one where I can imagine energised new beginnings. Iceland felt very similar - smaller, of course, and officially not english speaking, but closer to Europe amd North America.

And for the OP rolledover - I'm a (business) coach, email in my profile, if you want to know more about what to look for in a good coach / mentor.

IF you are willing to learn, I might know someone that can help you.But he doesn't work with everyone.He is definitely one of the best there is.Email me and I'll see what I can do.No promises.Thanks.
Sounds like you're trying to rush things. First you need to find something that excites you and aligns with your values. To do this I guess you've just got to expose yourself to new groups / causes.

If you're looking for somewhere to start and something worthwhile to be involved in; let me recommend: www.cleanweb.co

ps.

You don't need 100s of millions of dollars to become a figure who helps propel the world somewhere better.

You are really rather critical of yourself. Are you aware of that? I don't think you should be.

Try this trick if you don't think you are being too harsh.

If somebody came to you, a friend or relative, with this problem, what advice/encouragment would you give them?

Find someone who walked your dreams. Stick to him for a year. And things will be much clear.
What do you need is a project that can disrupt the world. I wish I were in your position, I would make for sure the projects I'm design but well, someday I will be able to take it to the top by myself.
the place we deserve and our kids deserve

If you could change three things about the world to move it in this direction, what would those changes be?

Why not just invest? If you're in your 30s and have that much runway then why worry about coding when you could more easily invest in startups?
I have about 1 million that is not in tax advantaged accounts. Right now, I average ~ 75-80k per year with my investments that gets re-invested into my accounts. (this is just public market investing)

I have looked into angel investing, and I am an accredited investor, but most people want a minimum of 10k. So at my level of wealth, it would be a stretch for me to even make 10 investments, and chances are very great that 9 out of 10 will fail, and the one that doesn't, maybe I make a 30% return on or something. I don't know whether I am being too negative, or if I really don't understand it. I would love to be an angel investor, but at this level of wealth, I really don't know if it's feasible at all.

Why not join a group, spread your risk http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/220149
You made a million by 30. Sounds like there are a lot of people that would like your input.
There's an idea here. You could sell your advice in creative ways! Write books, hold seminars, and blog continuously. You will become known, and fame is power.
The way I made my money was neither glamorous, or quick. If it weren't for my degrees, I would have never been extended the type of opportunity I took. All in, it took me 12 years to make that money.
You're a millionaire. Give back.
It sounds like your problem is thinking too big picture, and, knowing how grandiose your plan is, you're immediately seized with worry and fear for scenarios and problems that don't yet exist...

So, think small. If that just seems too bourgeois for you, re-read what you just posted. You've already admitted the problems in your thinking and that you see how it'll be a dead end in 10 years...so think small as if your future depended on it.

By thinking small, i mean, tackle problems that have immediate deliverables. Facebook was reportedly started as a way to better scope out attractive classmates, i.e. get laid. I doubt its founders were focused on connecting the entire world.

I guess I need to keep in mind that even if I fall directly on my face and fail, even if by preventable measure, I still won't be any worse off than if I continued to work in a meaningless job that I don't enjoy even if it pays me 400k per year or more. I think my biggest problem is I have nobody. I'm not the CEO bullshitter be friends with everyone type guy, I'm probably a bit too judgmental and critical, and I'm sure it's hurt me from a networking standpoint. I wish I could work with pg for a week just to see what he does and get a better feel for that world. I really wish I could find a good mentor or accountability partner to just help get started in the right direction.
You can start by just reading what pg says, here on hn, on his blog, in interviews, etc. His thoughts are accessible. You do not have to know him personally to soak up some of his views, ideas, etc.