[spoiler]

I know how you feel, I am 19 and I feel like crap, but I am chronically depressed, so I might be in a different position. Did you try seeing if you suffer from depression? I have/had self loathing issues and depression, which lead to procrastination (I wasn't lazy, I would be genuinely busy doing a billion things void of any productive outcome). The procrastination lead to obvious under performance, etc etc. It was a form of self targeted, passive, destruction (look at me being all sciency).

P.S: I was on pills until recently, when my psychiatrist told me I can stop taking them to see if I still need them or not (they also make me very sick for a short while, roughly 20 to 60 minutes on average), and I am starting to fall into my old and bad habits, again. Just thought I'd add that if anyone's wondering about how I feel.

[shadowrunner]

Something has to replace the pills, so why not exercise? Start running or powerlifting. Get active though. This is coming from a guy who has wicked-bad spells of depression that border on madness. It's scary, but I feel better after identifying what my keystone habits are and then DOING IT: http://zerotosuperhero.com/mindhack/find-your-lifes-last-kno...

See, that's the thing. We live in a pill generation. An era of instant gratification and 3 minute microwave meals. The pill is symbolic of our mass illusion that nothing requires effort anymore. Don't succumb to the lie. Take the time and do the work to take care of yourself