[afavour]

> People with kids sometimes experience this via all the activities they take their kids to

This is something welcome I didn’t expect to come from parenthood. Like many others I had thought to myself “how do you even make new friends in your thirties?!” and then once I had kids… bam. New friendship groups.

For us the local park and playground are a great equalizer in terms of economic stratification. But when the weather turns bad it rears its head again as people head to $50 a go trampoline parks and the like.

Public school is another unifier, of course. I’m in NYC and our preschool was very obviously not a reflection of the neighborhood or city around us. But once my kids entered the city-funded Pre-K they started to meet a ton of kids from different backgrounds. It’s very different from the childhood I had but I’m very glad my kids have it.

[pstuart]

I kind of experienced that but the relationships were more superficial than I'd have liked. If the "shared interest" is happy kids together it doesn't directly translate to the adults shared interests. But then again, maybe it was just me being me.

[SoftTalker]

Same, the relationships were all sort of "convenience" relationships that were dependent on the kids activities to sustain. Once the kids were older, or their interests changed, and there wasn't a scheduled game or event to bring everyone together, those relationships just evaporated.

[pavel_lishin]

It's a good jumping off point, but becoming friends requires time and work.

When we're young, we have nothing but time spent together. As adults, who spend an hour at the local park with some kids, those relationships require more effort to grow.

We have a few friends we've made through our kid, and it definitely takes more work to maintain - but it's been very worth it so far.

[Peacefulz]

As I age, my desire for friends for friends' sake diminishes. If someone doesn't offer something to my life that I value, I'll have a hard time putting energy into them.

It was so easy to make strong bonds as a kid, captive with other kids in a building most of the time. Now there is a cost:benefit I have to weigh a persons worth to me against.

[pstuart]

> becoming friends requires time, work, and a mutual desire for friendship

FTFY ;-)

[pavel_lishin]

How dare you imply that people don't want to be my friend! I'M PLEASANT AND LIKEABLE PERSON, YOU JERK!

[skeeter2020]

overall I had a very similar experience, but did make a few very good, long-term friends out of it that have survived our kids growin up and apart.