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by throwaway87330 8 days ago
I'm going to be a bit insensitive, sorry.

I've read many similar stories, in nearly all of them a couple of helpful friends always show up to save the day. I find it absurd that some people consider this zero.

I too was bullied during all my childhood, I haven't had a single friend in my life, I can barely imagine the possibility of being able to ask a favor from someone and even receive something.

Having someone to rely on sounds luxurious to me. My life has been a series of rejections. Apart from that I was always healthy, able to provide for myself, but I don't have a story. Somehow I feel like that if I could start a new life, I would choose one like this guy's rather than relive mine.
1 comments
gavinray 8 days ago 

  > I haven't had a single friend in my life
  > I can barely imagine the possibility of being able to ask a favor from someone and even receive something
  > My life has been a series of rejections
It's true, I had a lot of help, and that's not universal.

I'm going to say this, and I mean it genuinely, so please do not find this insensitive:

What if you went to lunch with someone, and the first things they said to you were those 3 quotes at the top?

You'd probably much rather hear something like:

  > I haven't had much luck making friends, YET
  > In the past, I've not been very good at asking others for help, and sometimes I get afraid if I did, they might not give it
  > I've been through a lot of hardships, SO FAR
Even if we don't say things out loud, our mental states and attitudes are clear as day to others around us. You can tell when someone is upset, or having a bad day, without ever speaking to them.

One of the most impactful things a mentor once told me is:

  > "We are the stories we tell ourselves."
Look at the story you tell yourself today, in those quotes above.

I want to genuinely ask you, to give "telling yourself a different story" a try. You might be surprised at how well you can "fake it 'til you make it!"

Sorry to hear that life has been a struggle for you and that you've not had a good support system to aid you.

But it doesn't have to stay that way -- every day you live & breathe is an opportunity to start the first chapter of a very different story...

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throwaway87330 8 days ago
I appreciate your comment.

Again, I'm sorry for venting. I was triggered, but didn't mean to downplay your experience.

I found that opening up to people about deep personal issues makes them steer clear even faster.

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gavinray 8 days ago
You don't have to apologize! Your feelings are yours, and if it's not hateful, no shame in expressing them

I really do think if you put your mind to shifting the framing/perspective of your feelings though, that you can have a much different future than past

Hoping things start to go your way, mate

(And yeah, definitely don't dump personal issues on new friends. I find that making friends is much easier if you ask thoughtful questions after listening to them and letting other people do most of the talking at first.)

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