[jdw64]

I also want to communicate with someone and have programming conversations. There's no one around me to talk about programming with. I'm the only programmer around. Aside from AI and books, I sometimes want to talk with a real person.

[tetris11]

I gave away an old switch to a guy on Gumtree. He mentioned he was building a machine cabinet. We got talking. He's now my home lab shoptalk guy, and we meet in the pub every other month.

I gave away an old PCB to a guy in gumtree. We got talking. He's now my 3D printer shop talk guy, and we meet at the pub every other month.

It's surprisingly easier to foster your own hacker space if you trade goods in those circles.

Best part is that Gumtree/Craigslist/Kleinanzeigen let you define a radius to meet these people, so they're all local

I'd advise against the "Im lonely..." angle in seeking out these connections, go more for the "hey I've got this thing you might want..." style patter, even if the former is true.

And always use protection.

[domlebo70]

Awesome. Similar experience to me. Was selling some sim racing gear, and he mentioned he was in fabrication. Now he's my fab guy and we chat heaps.

[embedding-shape]

Most of my local music production buddies I've met by selling and purchasing second-hand music hardware, as I always sell/buy stuff in driving range, and it's a nice excuse to meet people who like the same stuff as you :) Lots of ways to meet people like this, depending on what you're into.

[rramadass]

+1 for Good actionable advice.

[8-prime]

I found great enjoyment from https://late.sh/. I'm not as active as I would like to be but the small community is still active enought that there is basically always someone around to chat with.

[Ocha]

Can’t connect unfortunately.

debug1: Sending environment. debug1: channel 2: setting env LANG = "en_US.UTF-8" debug2: channel 2: request env confirm 0 debug1: channel 2: setting env LC_TERMINAL = "iTerm2" debug2: channel 2: request env confirm 0 debug1: channel 2: setting env LC_TERMINAL_VERSION = "3.6.10" debug2: channel 2: request env confirm 0 debug1: channel 2: setting env LC_ALL = "en_US.UTF-8" debug2: channel 2: request env confirm 0 debug2: channel 2: request shell confirm 1 debug2: channel_input_open_confirmation: channel 2: callback done debug2: channel 2: open confirm rwindow 8388608 rmax 32768 debug1: mux_client_request_session: master session id: 2 debug2: channel_input_status_confirm: type 99 id 2 debug2: PTY allocation request accepted on channel 2 Connection to late.sh closed by remote host.

[bl4ckbe4r]

Can you try one more time? And if still failing, are you ok with trying the CLI? CLI is a little more bulletproof, have its own ssh client inside.

[Ocha]

Did some debugging. It works after I disabled compression and control master.

I didn’t like CLI, since it didn’t pick up my default ssh key from the agent.

[bl4ckbe4r]

the CLI also have some args to use, like --key or --ssh-mode :)

[0fflineuser]

I am actually blown away by how good it is. Both the features, the UI, everything. wow.

[creamyhorror]

This is amazing, a true gem. I need to get it set up.

[jdw64]

thanks!

[8-prime]

If you do end up joining feel free to dm me. same user as here.

[jdw64]

I'm not sure about the DM feature, but I like this more than I thought. I don't have any memories of the TUI environment (most of my memories are from IRC), but it has an IRC feel to it, so I like it

[ozim]

For me problem is that talking with developers most of the time is more annoying than it is worth.

Being one-upped all the time, having devs nag about tiny irrelevant flaws just to show who is smarter. Adding just one more sentence to keep upper hand and trying to „make better” when good wasn’t done yet.

When I was younger I also had my fair share of those flaws.

[burnt-resistor]

Insecure and overvalued jerks are toxic. If someone can't bring their ego under control and be professional, they're probably better absent or away from customers rather than keeping around.

The best developers are consultative, inquisitive, and focused on delivering value that makes stakeholders' lives easier. No one outside of technical people care about implementation tools or details.

[jdw64]

Actually, I think all professional fields are similar. But even so, sometimes I still miss having people around

[amelius]

> For me problem is that talking with developers most of the time is more annoying than it is worth.

Then why are you on HN? ;)

[rramadass]

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=48382972

[rramadass]

Ha, Ha, Very true though we don't like to admit it to ourselves.

HN is full of these types (myself included when something really triggers me). The amount of trivialities/nitpicking/arguing-for-the-sake-of-arguing going on here is enough to try anybody's patience. I think if i were to discuss things face-to-face with some of the people here it may most probably end in screaming/yelling and fisticuffs ;-)

It is a fundamental Human behavioural trait (i.e. the need to assert dominance through any means) that needs careful regulation in our communications.

I try to deal with these people the Sherlock Holmes way ;-)

"It may be that you are not yourself luminous, but you are a conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a remarkable power of stimulating it ...

When I said that you stimulated me I meant, to be frank, that in noting your fallacies I was occasionally guided towards the truth.".

[embedding-shape]

> I think if i were to discuss things face-to-face with some of the people here it may most probably end in screaming/yelling and fisticuffs

I had the same feeling, until some years ago I met up with some local HNers and lo and behold; they're nothing like what's going on here typically, just regular people who can have regular (but interesting) conversations :)

I'm guessing for many it's really hard to "read the vibe" when it's just text, and people take everything very literally here, while in real life, even people who write and behave like that here, don't actually act the same.

Maybe facial expressions, body language and more basically solves all those trivialities/nitpicking/arguing-for-the-sake-of-arguing issue, at the very least because those who perpetrate those things, actually can see the "what the fuck is this guy on about" expressions in real-time as they speak to people. That's my guess at least.

[rramadass]

They are one side of the equation; the other side is us i.e. our ego/character/personality. This factors into how we react to non-verbal cues and how we trigger the other side so now we are caught in a vicious negative cycle.

From that pov, eliminating everything other than pure text (like on HN) is actually a positive. Here we just need to agree to abide by some common rules for the pursuit of curiosity/knowledge and not mere socializing. Don't post everything that comes to your mind, slowdown and think before you post, know your audience, be succinct and to-the-point but with links to further details/study etc.

As an example, 19th century scientists wrote to each other sharing/discussing/refining their ideas/theories. See Explore 19th Century Scientific Correspondence - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=47389055 for the actual and interesting correspondences.

IMO, the following quote very well expresses the power of mediocrity and how it can drag us all down;

“Your scorn for mediocrity blinds you to its vast primitive power. You stand in the glare of your own brilliance, unable to see into the dim corners of the room, to dilate your eyes and see the potential dangers of the mass, the wad of humanity. Even as I tell you this, dear student, you cannot quite believe that lesser men, in whatever numbers, can really defeat you. But we are in the age of the mediocre man. He is dull, colorless, boring — but inevitably victorious. The amoeba outlives the tiger because it divides and continues in its immortal monotony. The masses are the final tyrants. ... The roar of the plodders is inarticulate, but deafening. They have no brain, but they have a thousand arms to grasp and clutch at you, drag you down.”

― Trevanian, Shibumi

This is what we need to guard against i.e. "not become mediocre" (and add to the inanity on the Internet) in our own communications/behaviour on HN and elsewhere. We need to focus on the s/n ratio always in our communications.

[ChrisMarshallNY]

I live in an area dominated by finance and commerce people (New York Suburbs).

I’ve learned not to talk about what I do, as I see eyes glaze over, quickly, when I do.

If I were to talk about the commodities exchanges, though, we’d be chatting up a storm.

I miss having people to talk to, about this stuff. The few techhies around, tend to freeze me out. They all like going into Brooklyn, to hang out.

I guess that’s one reason that I’m so busy here.

[clbrmbr]

Which suburb, haha. I’m in Englewood and have similar experience of very few tech folks around.

[ChrisMarshallNY]

Long Island (Huntington area).

[ZaoLahma]

I (software engineer) have lived with a software engineer for 14 years. We (half jokingly, somewhat seriously) refer to non-software engineers as "real persons", or human-humans.

[francisofascii]

AKA "Normies" (heard on Scott Hanselman's podcast)

[UpAndOut]

I recently moved to London. Would be really really happy to meet up with others who enjoy computers/hobbyists. If you have a blog, I'm interested in meeting you! There are too many corporate events here and almost no hobbyist groups.

[wouldbecouldbe]

In most places there are software meetups, in my area there are many at meetup.com. I once started one myself, that later got taken over and is still quite big. Actually a lot of fun, and at the time we would even get sponsoring offers quite quickly.

[jdw64]

I don't have that kind of gathering on side. There are no programming meetups. It's an industrial area. My job mostly involves programming equipment operation using WinForm and WPF. I sometimes wish there were such meetups too. Around here, it's all factories

[embedding-shape]

Create your own low-stakes "Beer & Programming" or whatever is doable where you live.

I grew up on a island where there was maybe one or two other people who knew computers enough to know programming as a thing existed as a concept, but similarly to you, absolutely nothing else, and it gets very lonely and outright boring after a while.

I solved this (accidentally) by moving to another area, but isn't possible for everyone, then the closest you can get to that would be to bring people closer to where you are instead, or start up something small and reoccurring :)

[jdw64]

Thank you for your advice.

[wouldbecouldbe]

yeah you can just start your own! meetup (and if you have fb groups) have a good chance to bring in lots of people.

[bluebarbet]

Tangentially, over the last decade or two Meetup.com has allowed me to meet countless people in multiple countries, of whom some became friends. I've got such value out of this commercial service that I frequently find myself worrying about its business model. To me, Meetup is close to being the holy grail: an independent company, an excellent web client with no need to install an app, and it's not integrated with the corporate social platforms. I so want them to continue to prosper.

[ChrisMarshallNY]

We have them around here.

I stopped going, because the “circle of avoidance” around me makes me self-conscious.

The ageism in New York, is even worse than in Silicon Valley.

[gorjusborg]

What do you mean by circle of avoidance?

[ChrisMarshallNY]

When I go to these gigs, I tend to be the oldest person there.

No one makes eye contact, and no one looks at me. I find it extremely difficult to start conversations, and I'm a fairly gregarious chap. There's usually a space around me, about a meter wide; even when it's crowded.

The good news is, I rarely have trouble finding a seat.

[gorjusborg]

I'm sorry you have had to experience that.

As much as I'd like to judge, I had a little bit of that 'elder avoidance' in my 20s, and I look back and cringe at how stupid I was.

I'm old enough now to know that 'my people' can't be determined by things I can judge easily by looks or short interactions. I'm going to hope they get it at some point.

[raffael_de]

back in the days of LAN parties, assembling PCs, making your own website with HTML/CSS/Perl, torrenting music etc. it seemed like a lot of random people around me had some level of competence and enthusiasm for at least one IT area. this is all gone. while one can argue that given how comfortable UX got and so you no longer need to know what a file is, I nonetheless believe such enthusiasm has never been more important. instead people are happy with what a bunch of mega corporations spoon feed them.

[jlundberg]

My two best points of advice is:

Go to meetups/hackathons

Threads the app, reply to coders on posts you find interesting and have things to add to.