[jdlyga]

A silver lining to this is new parents are very aware of the dangers of screen time. In my little community, I haven't seen parents of kids under the age of 3 give their kid any type of screen especially when they're out. It's a real generational divide, since I used to see kids with tablets in restaurants everywhere back 5 or 6 years ago. The new thing is screen free electronics, like a device kids can stick cards in and it repeats words in English or Spanish.

[teekert]

The awareness is nice, but the friction is still there. So much energy goes into discussions about screen use, it's a real drain on the relation with my kids I feel.

It's important to be clear and set boundaries, but there is always that one friend where they go to and just watch YT shorts until deep in the night falling asleep like a zombie. Moreover, my kid is often the only one with a locked phone (gets 2 hr a day which is also the time he is on the bus). I think it is already insanely much. But he still wants to plays Minecraft as soon as he comes home, this is also quite obsessively (he's in a lot of SMPs). Again it's nice he has a passion but too bad it's for a screen. My daughter in contrast can just play in the garden for hours.

Of course he's not allowed most of the time, but the pressure is always on.

[not_a_bot_4sho]

My eldest kids are allowed 2 hours of screen time on the weekends. Zero during weekdays. No phones, only tablets and computers. No social media allowed.

Most of their peers seem to have unlimited or at least plentiful screen time, and often use their phones at bus stops and things like that so the friction you mention comes up. "It's not fair. Jane has a YouTube account and Instagram!" -- to which I mentally reply "tough shit" but verbally provide more polite answers.

But I've got a younger one not yet in school, who is strictly limited to things like sesame street under supervision. I've noticed other daycare parents are similar as strict with screen time, with similar opinions about social media, something that wasn't the case with my older kids.

I find that change refreshing.

[philipallstar]

> Of course he's not allowed most of the time, but the pressure is always on.

Definitely. We have similar, although have never given the kids portable screen devices (well, they had a tablet in the house and it was still too much, so we took it away). There are our phones, which they can rarely use and only for specific tasks like "play music on the speaker" or "do fantasy football", and there's a game console with a PIN, and there's a TV with a PIN. So everything requires us to do something, and uninstall games is on the table as a severe consequence. The only autonomous device is a Yoto, which is a card-based story playing device.

It's not perfect, but they definitely want screens less than they used to.

[teekert]

There is definitely the trend of "allow more, they whine about it more".

At some point they're very absorbed indeed. Being stricter is harder at first but certainly becomes easier than them feeling they always have the option to maybe get screen-time (when it's maybe they strongly feel that whining may win them something, of course that has been the struggle of raining kids since forever), imho.

[ido]

I think it’s a class divided too- (financially) poor parents give their kids their phone but richer/more educated parents don’t.

[crassus_ed]

I recognize this too. There must be a correlation between the parents' level of education and the screen time the children have. Would be an interesting study.

[adrianN]

I‘d wager that the correlation is with how exhausting the parent‘s job is. Screens are excellent for keeping children occupied, keeping them happy in healthier ways requires a lot of energy. After working a hard job, running a household and worrying about whether you run out of money before the next paycheck I can imagine that many parents just don’t have the mental resources.

[philipallstar]

> Screens are excellent for keeping children occupied, keeping them happy in healthier ways requires a lot of energy.

It could also be that the parent wants to be on their screen at the same time, or wants to be on Instagram later into the night. There will be some correlation with work, but I doubt that explains most of it.

[jansan]

If that was true you would see unemployed parents being best at keeping their children from the screens. It is awareness, i am pretty sure about this.

[latexr]

Someone who is unemployed, especially if they’re poor, doesn’t suddenly have a lot of free time and headspace. On the contrary, they just got more stressed and pay even less attention since now they have yet another urgent issue weighting on their mind.

[gambiting]

I don't know what you think unemployment looks like, but for most people it's incredibly stressful and not a time when you can just sit on your ass and watch TV all day. The benefits, if you manage to secure them - are barely enough to get by.

[King-Aaron]

From a parents perspective, I feel you are incorrect.

Almost every other parent I speak to are well aware of how detrimental screen time is to their kids, and yet often still use devices when they're too tired for much else.

[peterbecich]

This is consistent with the very old topic of television as babysitter

[tapoxi]

We got my daughter a Yoto and it's a great device. She sticks a card in and it plays music or an audiobook. There's a "screen" but it's a low resolution pixel grid that shows pixel art of the current track.

[gommm]

We use luuni which is similar (except that it also enable choose your own story with audiobooks). Even then, we limit it because otherwise he would want to listen to it every time before sleeping (and it prevents him from sleeping)

[bestouff]

3 years old is very, very young as a "no-phone barrier".

[gommm]

True for children under 3, however I see plenty of 8-9 years old glued to their tablet in restaurants.

[47282847]

I see small children in strollers (prams?) with devices in front of them every day on public transport, sometimes as little as a few months old. Breaks my heart.

Not to mention that basically everybody around them disappears into screens on trains/buses. It’s emotional abandonment. We are not here any more.

When I make eye contact, the children light up. But the parents often don’t seem to like random strangers to make contact with their child like that. That I have to avoid or break up contact that the child themselves obviously enjoys, while their caretakers disappear into screens, then breaks my heart a second time.

We have over 100 years of developmental psychology research to know that this is bad. Worse than bad.

Typing this on public transport.