[teekert]

The awareness is nice, but the friction is still there. So much energy goes into discussions about screen use, it's a real drain on the relation with my kids I feel.

It's important to be clear and set boundaries, but there is always that one friend where they go to and just watch YT shorts until deep in the night falling asleep like a zombie. Moreover, my kid is often the only one with a locked phone (gets 2 hr a day which is also the time he is on the bus). I think it is already insanely much. But he still wants to plays Minecraft as soon as he comes home, this is also quite obsessively (he's in a lot of SMPs). Again it's nice he has a passion but too bad it's for a screen. My daughter in contrast can just play in the garden for hours.

Of course he's not allowed most of the time, but the pressure is always on.

[not_a_bot_4sho]

My eldest kids are allowed 2 hours of screen time on the weekends. Zero during weekdays. No phones, only tablets and computers. No social media allowed.

Most of their peers seem to have unlimited or at least plentiful screen time, and often use their phones at bus stops and things like that so the friction you mention comes up. "It's not fair. Jane has a YouTube account and Instagram!" -- to which I mentally reply "tough shit" but verbally provide more polite answers.

But I've got a younger one not yet in school, who is strictly limited to things like sesame street under supervision. I've noticed other daycare parents are similar as strict with screen time, with similar opinions about social media, something that wasn't the case with my older kids.

I find that change refreshing.

[philipallstar]

> Of course he's not allowed most of the time, but the pressure is always on.

Definitely. We have similar, although have never given the kids portable screen devices (well, they had a tablet in the house and it was still too much, so we took it away). There are our phones, which they can rarely use and only for specific tasks like "play music on the speaker" or "do fantasy football", and there's a game console with a PIN, and there's a TV with a PIN. So everything requires us to do something, and uninstall games is on the table as a severe consequence. The only autonomous device is a Yoto, which is a card-based story playing device.

It's not perfect, but they definitely want screens less than they used to.

[teekert]

There is definitely the trend of "allow more, they whine about it more".

At some point they're very absorbed indeed. Being stricter is harder at first but certainly becomes easier than them feeling they always have the option to maybe get screen-time (when it's maybe they strongly feel that whining may win them something, of course that has been the struggle of raining kids since forever), imho.