As a father of multiple kids younger than that, I have a very different experience.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, but I’m slightly taken aback by this comment because this isn’t a common feature of having older children. The only parents I know having sleep deprivation problems have very young children. I have a lot of parent friends and I’ve never heard anyone claim that sleep deprivation continued until older ages, let alone that it’s common.
Like I said, I have kids too. But enforcing boundaries and sleep schedules is lot different than claiming a decade of sleep depreciation. Kids sleep longer than we do as adults. I’m not losing sleep by getting them up in the morning unless I stay up late on my own, because we both have things to do in the morning.
My wife and I have a 7 month old and have learned that other parents do not like hearing about babies who sleep well. We don’t bring it up deliberately, but it comes up in conversation naturally sometimes. I have a lot of friends who say their 2+ year olds still don’t sleep through the night and say we’re lucky.
The luck attribution really downplays the rigidity of the schedule and routines my wife and I have kept for the little dude for MONTHS. It is the same schedule every single evening barring extenuating circumstances. But nobody wants to accept that we actually put effort in day after day to protect and foster the sleep schedule.
Same, as the father of three children, I believe a lot of it has to do with sleep pattern conditioning. You are literally training minds to sleep on a rigid schedule to keep your own sanity. That implies sticking to rigid timing as much as possible and creating the optimal environment for success. E.g., correct lighting, air movement, sound (I highly recommend “Hey Siri, play Pure Meditation playlist”) at a low volume, and if you live in an otherwise particularly hectic environment, appropriately dosed and timed melatonin supplements. You reap the rewards of your own hard training work, or suffer the consequences of the lack thereof.
The battlefield changes as kids age. It’s impossible to have any realistic discussion about sleep habits without discussing the elephant in the room. What is your device policy and how do you manage screen time, what your bedtime routine is (you better have one!) and how good you are at sticking to the timing on a daily basis.
Congrats and guard your sleep hygiene as much as possible (practically impossible advice to follow in most cases).
I went through a really rough period because of the lack of sleep. I noticed that hydration during that period was also challenging, so I wonder if this is related to the brain shrink effect.
Ah thanks! This is the nicest response to a comment I’ve received.
Hang in there with the 6 month old. It gets easier every month. Mine are 4 and 8 now. Sometimes I really miss having a tiny baby - but I do like sleeping now.
These brain chemical rewards apparently do not work on me, my (still young) kids provide no such rejuvenation. Luckily I'm a deep sleeper so I have no sleep deprivation problems.
This may change with age. My children were cute but didn't engage me much emotionally while they were still mostly crying, pooping, and trying their best to hurt themselves. Once they became more multi-faceted that changed.
Parents are supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps. Industrial work culture does not allow this. One of the many things leading the "Western" lifestyle to extinction.
The babies I know yet don't sleep like adults which means that you will be up at night at random hours that you are not used to and I think this has nothing to do with industrial work culture.
That 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is just a "dream" :).
I recall, as a twins dad, I did not have 2+ hours of uninterrupted sleep till they are 2 years old. (This depends on the kid though).
This varies, you still see some polyphasic sleep in countries that have very hot middle of the days, Greece + Spain off the top of my head. An intentional waste of daylight because the cooler mornings and evenings are better, but industrialisation has still reduced the frequency of these practices.
This is funny in how cut and dry it is. My friend, do you have kids?
It's my theory that crying evolved as a trait because it forces parents to go find some place safe lest a predator finds them, thus ensuring the helpless kid can grow in safe environments.
Note that there is no mention of sleep in there. That's bonus round if you get it.
They should be sleep deprived the same way for it to be a real control group, at least in the context of "becoming a father". Otherwise it's just "being sleep deprived for 6-12 months has X effect", which is much less informative. We already know being sleep deprived for long stretches is really bad.
I'm pretty sure you can be father and have someone to take care of the baby in the night, your wife or paid nanny can do it, so omitting sleep deprivation from title is just sensational clickbait
Yes, so then that way you would know if there's something special about raising children that causes cerebellum shrinkage, or if it is just run of the mill sleep deprivation that causes it