[DoughHook]

This is a list about how to have a flame war. If you really want incoherent and isolating social experiences here is what you do:

- spend most of your time online

- overthink any form of social outreach and don't do it

- open reddit/HN/youtube/content_platform when you feel anything negative

- look at porn when you feel lonely

- constantly analyze other people's perception of you

You will then stifle your social skills and connections with people. You will feel extremely uncomfortable around other people most of the time. You will make niche references to things you have seen online and nobody will get you. Interacting with real people will be terrifying. Mission accomplished.

[bluefirebrand]

The part you're missing is that the people who hit those bullet points probably weren't always that way. In my experience they usually had very bad social experiences that drove them to isolate.

That isn't necessarily an excuse. I strongly believe that after a certain point it's really on you to get over your hangups, especially if you're an adult. It may not be easy but it's necessary

Anyways, I've never found that just telling lonely people "it is your fault you're alone" has ever been helpful

[anal_reactor]

I honestly think that most people suck and are not worth talking to. Sure, spending time with those who don't is extremely rewarding, but the rest is just a waste of oxygen.

[bluefirebrand]

Even if this were true, you still have to talk to a lot of people even if only to sift through the sucky ones to find the gems

So if you have any interest in finding the good people who you think are worthwhile, you still have a pretty good incentive to talk to people. And if the good, worthwhile people are that rare then you need to talk to and get to know as many people as you can

[lkramer]

`constantly analyze other people's perception of you` I find this a really hard trap to escape...

[kulahan]

Try purposely having a bad perception sometimes. I had the same problem. I couldn’t go out in public with anything less than perfect hair, or perfect clothes, or whatever. A few days of dressing in basketball shorts, shirts with holes, and unkempt hair, I noticed nobody gave a shit. Life is much more freeing when you do things the way you want (within reason) and curate a personal style.

[rramadass]

Surprisingly on point; far better than the OP's silly list.

However, a study of Philosophy may convince one that "it is better to be sane alone than be mad with the crowd".

What does Albert Camus mean by "Beginning to think is beginning to be undermined" in Myth of Sisyphus? - https://www.reddit.com/r/askphilosophy/comments/c1ohej/what_...

[asdfman123]

Right. Almost no one is that kind of asshole in person. Even in nerd meetups <5% are like this.

[infinite_spin]

even when they are, it's not like that's their entire person, like people do have redeeming qualities even when I think they've been a jerk