[zjp]

Millennials delenda est. Or maybe Gen X. But definitely millennials. I am stockpiling champagne for when performative profanity goes to the grave with the silent generation against which it is still rebelling 70 years later. I do not want to order the sloppy toppy burger at BURGERSLUT. Just give me a cheeseburger. But yes, you should build a website.

[replooda]

"Millenniales delendi sunt." Now, write it out a hundred times. If it's not done by sunrise...

[dickiedyce]

I daren’t ask “What have Millennials ever done for us?” because I have a suspicion that it would be a surprisingly unfunny answer.

[techterrier]

they gave us doggo

[achenet]

Google and Facebook? Minecraft? Most recent music?

[rpdillon]

That's Gen X. Google's founders were both born in 1973 and Notch was born in 1979. Zuckerberg was born in '84, so he's solidly a millennial.

[bix6]

Zuck was birthed in the pits of Isengard so he’s actually Gen I. That’s why it’s all about him!

[zjp]

Cheems will be to millennials what the Grateful Dead logo was to Boomers.

[0_____0]

looks up latin conjugation chart

fuck this i'll learn mandarin instead

[replooda]

https://inv.nadeko.net/watch?v=9jtiw721RAg

[0_____0]

Thanks, I was actually trying to find this the other day. By trying, I mean I thought about it but wasn't near my phone so I forgot to do it.

[_verandaguy]

It's not the conjugations that scare most people, it's the declensions (ok, well, at least anglophones).

[jrflowers]

> I do not want to order the sloppy toppy burger at BURGERSLUT. Just give me a cheeseburger.

Seems odd to complain about the kitschy menu item names after walking into BURGERSLUT intent on ordering

[zjp]

You don’t always get to choose the restaurant. Sometimes your friends drag you places. Sometimes your sister in law wants to go take a photo of the Castro Theater and then get a cookie, and you find yourself in Hot Cookie calling a chocolate chip a Basic Bitch. I just think that these kinds of "perfect agency" gotchas ignore the tradeoffs of living an actual life.

[jrflowers]

What is the tradeoff in the scenario you described? You were enjoying time with your sister in law, you called a cookie a bitch, and then…? You weren’t having fun with your sister in law after that?

[lelanthran]

Well, many would have done it the other way - had fun with the cookie and called the SIL a bitch :-)

[zjp]

I think the cost of having to say something humiliating is at least equal to the cost of the cookie, so I want it for free. Of course I had fun with my sister in law, even if I rolled my eyes at the business. That's beside the point. Making you say this stuff is a tiny, petty act of domination. Say it or you don't get the cookie, or you look unfun. Anyway, it's the same argument people have been having forever about not wanting to say 'grande' at Starbucks. A war we won. And we will win this one.

[autoexec]

> I think the cost of having to say something humiliating is at least equal to the cost of the cookie,

How is 'bitch' any worse than ordering a Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Fruity? Is anyone really focing you? Point and grunt if it makes you feel better. Odds are good that the wage slave taking your order doesn't care what you call it. Whatever indignity you feel you're suffering in the ordering process is nothing compared to what the employees have to endure.

[zjp]

They’re exactly as cringy as each other actually, but your self-righteous point is well taken. Sure, agreed. I have class consciousness now. I am awakened. As if I would ever make this some random cashier’s problem.

[jowsie]

What makes it humiliating? To me, it's just words, a little childish but still. I'm a Brit though, and I feel we have a much more lax attitude to swearing over here.

[antihero]

If OP feels "humiliated" reading a silly item from a menu their dominatrix must have the easiest job in the fucking world.

[zjp]

"A little childish"; Bob's your uncle.

[jrflowers]

Do your friends and family know that calling a cookie a bitch is humiliating to you? That’s a pretty strong feeling, so I would be pretty mad if I communicated that and people close to me still dragged me to those places anyway. I wouldn’t be mad at the business, though, I’d be mad at the people that are knowingly disrespecting my boundaries.

[trick-or-treat]

When strangers do that it's disrespecting boundaries. When family does it it's giving you a hard time / teasing.

[chillfox]

pointing at the menu and saying "that one" works just fine.

[mlrtime]

>Sometimes your friends drag you places.

Sounds like a website is not your biggest problem then. Pick better friends or stop complaining, you sound like a whiner.

[achenet]

with all due respect - just because your friends occasionally want to go someplace with questionable names doesn't mean they aren't good friends.

I'm not going to ditch the friends who let me sleep on their couch for weeks at a time during periods when I was homeless and jobless just because they occasionally want me to accompany them to a stupid restaurant.

[zjp]

I don’t really think that’s a proportionate solution to a minor annoyance. So far the advice I’ve gotten has been:

- restructure my relationships

- say something psychotic like “let’s go to a different neighborhood so I don’t have to say two words for dessert”

But you are all misreading this as a cry for help or advice. It is a bit. I even say the goddamn fucking words! I just think they’re cringey and I was commenting on my distaste for that feeling. I don’t have a cellarful of champagne either. I have bad news about the Easter bunny.

“You sound like a whiner”. Get a sense of humor maybe? Or failing that at least display the self composure and grace I so lack and pound sand.

[Apocryphon]

Ironically, this kind of performative outrage (over a performative thing or not) is also very Gen X or millennial-coded. I can’t even. Take a chill pill.

[PaulDavisThe1st]

> is also very Gen X or millennial-coded. I can’t even.

irony, much?

[Apocryphon]

Don’t have a cow, man

[zjp]

No.

[Apocryphon]

You’re so Julia

[alsetmusic]

> performative profanity

While I'm perfectly capable of writing professionally, I have a mouth like a sailor when I'm speaking with people who are close to me. I sometimes choose to write the way I speak and I appreciate when others do so as well, assuming it comes off as genuine.

I think this person cares that much and wanted to convey their frustration. It worked for me. I thought it was excellent.

[typon]

You will be forced to watch Firefly for eternity. Millenials will rule the internet for a 1000 years (a millenia).

[Gigachad]

Only because the internet for the next thousand years will only be bots, which stopped getting new training material after everyone else went outside.

[zjp]

Firefly, Dr. Who, Sherlock, on repeat. My own personal circle of hell.

[tryauuum]

what is a "performative profanity"? A profanity which only goal is to be performed, said out loud? What other goals does a profanity have? I guess to hurt feelings of another person?

[rchaud]

Basically to get the attention of others and distinguish oneself from the stiff formality of previous generations. It's a very common trope in the titles of self-help books written by millennials:

https://www.reddit.com/r/starterpacks/comments/ceecki/book_t...

[zjp]

Fucking performative fucking profanity is fucking gratuitous and is fucking clearly only fucking there so you fucking know I fucking smoke fucking Camel Lights. It’s not fucking musical. It doesn’t fucking enhance the fucking thought or it’s the wrong fucking emotional fucking register for the fucking material. It’s just fucking there.

[pickleglitch]

Ironic that the original post is not actually written like this.

[dqv]

cringe >>> performative blandness

have a fkin boring substack, write abt your car (whimsy typo, not cringe like "doggo")

[bix6]

Well all the assets are with the old asses so the only thing left for the younger gens is creativity and humor. I’d make you eat a sloppy toppy burger too you little burger slut boomer bitch <3

[zjp]

This is clever but it’s self defeating because it’s tasteful. It’s a good joke. I felt like John Waters was saying it to me. And the painful thing to me is the tastelessness.

[gamerdonkey]

What do you want the title to be? "Have a Website"?

No, that's missing the emphasis. "I Strongly Encourage Businesses to Have a Website"? There we go. That sounds bland enough to be regurgitated by your LLM of the week.

Enjoy your war on adjectives, I guess. It's certainly going to make the world more interesting. Jesus fucking christ.

[GreenWatermelon]

It could be "Please, I beg of you, have a website" or "For the love of God, have a website" or even "AAAHHHHH JUST HAVE A WEBSITE ALREADY"

Many ways exist to cover all ranges of emotions without resorting to a purely cosmetic "fuck"

[zjp]

'Fuck' is every part of speech simultaneously because it doesn't mean anything.

I just want it to be clever and load bearing. Back to the food lens: like an ice cream shop called Daddy's Ice Cream, stylized as Daddy's [Ice] Cream, a name that would recast even "Vanilla", selling a flavor called "Chocolate Paint". You have to work to figure it out. Is it a non sequitur, a Valentine's Day tradition, or a failure of prep? It doesn't force you to be the straight man in a bit. You have an out. The words are literally clean. It's not 'ha, I am about to sexually submit to my food, and eating is a blowjob'.