[thrownawaysz]

or how to get labeled as a creep by every women

joke or not (actually not) but read some women spaces and it's obviously a lot of people, especially women, just want to be let alone. Don't start talking with random people unless they start talking to you and it's consensual, simple as that.

[tbossanova]

Yeah but if everyone follows that then nobody ever talks to anyone “random” ever. The key is to just not be creepy. Some little low stakes thing that can just end easily if they don’t want to chat. “Such a long wait for this bus. Should have brought a book.” If you get a brief response, fine, end of conversation. Otherwise, then you can chat.

[johnnyanmac]

>if everyone follows that then nobody ever talks to anyone “random” ever.

well, yes. mission accomplished.

> The key is to just not be creepy.

Sadly, the ones who are creepy never realize they are creepy.

[latexr]

> or how to get labeled as a creep by every women

If you’re a man and go into it with the mindset of only talking to women, especially attractive ones, then of course that would get you labeled as a creep because it is creep behaviour. That’s not striking up a conversation with strangers, it’s hitting on women. You have to approach anyone equally. Address the attractive woman the same way you approach the old man on the bus stop.

[theultdev]

Talking to people you are attracted to is how the human race lives on.

And noone knows if you are talking to people "equally" they only know the conversation they are currently in.

I guess you could just hit on everyone. Old, ugly, whatever! Then you won't be a creep.

But in all seriousness, the difference between courting someone and creeping someone out is how attractive you are to them, not the other way around.

[jmye]

Bullshit. That's internet incel horseshit. Have an actual conversation. Get to a point where your sole, entire intention isn't just to con a woman into sleeping with you, and where you like, maybe want to get to know her. Lose the weird, internet pick-up artist intensity.

Like, do random men you talk to think you're a creep? If they do, then maybe it's time to get some life coaching. If not, maybe, just maybe, there's some subtle differences in how you approach people you see as sex toys vs. people you see as, you know, people.

[johnnyanmac]

>Get to a point where your sole, entire intention isn't just to con a woman into sleeping with you, and where you like, maybe want to get to know her.

But the point of this exercise isn't to make a deep friendship. It's practice. Is this article inherently creepy?

>Like, do random men you talk to think you're a creep? If they do, then maybe it's time to get some life coaching.

If they do, they're a lot better at hiding it. The big difference is in threat level. I don't see men nor women approach me and think "are they trying to hurt me/hit on me" as a default.

[haritha-j]

> But the point of this exercise isn't to make a deep friendship. It's practice.

Personally, that wasn't my takeaway. I thought it was more that you and the other person would get some joy out of the interaction. As in, conversations with strangers will be fun, even if you don't end up being friends.

[theultdev]

Where did I say not to have an actual conversation?

You can hit on someone and connect with them.

Be nice, connect, open up, share, listen, love. All that shit.

Then you'll get a wife, like myself. Good luck.

Or just make friends, or enemies, whatever floats your boat.

[mcdeltat]

I find it interesting how this comment says we should be socialising with everyone equally, and another upvoted comment elsewhere here says to modify your appearance to be more approachable.

So which is it?

[johnnyanmac]

So, trying to approach women is creepy. Got it.

[medi8r]

Common sense applies. If someone is on a run, dont bother them. If you are in a queue I think make a comment is OK if theh respond keep talking.

[jaapz]

> Don't start talking with random people unless they start talking to you

Nobody would talk with anybody if both sides thought like that

[haritha-j]

I'm very conscious of this, perhaps more so due to being a brown immigrant, which is why I prefer to chat with men or older people. There's much less ambiguity there.

[hresvelgr]

It's only creepy if you are a creep.

[fuzzfactor]

That's exactly right, you've got to be an unmistakable gentleman, which is just the opposite.

As everybody knows that's still often not enough, but why shoot yourself in the foot when you're trying to put your best foot forward?

I'll never forget the day some sophisticated gentlemen came to my school and introduced one of their big hit songs that night.

How there's 5 little words so many single women love to hear, "Hey Girl, What's Your Name?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09w6_q0Chxk

If you look at the lyrics it is a bit straightforward for the 21st century, I think the best approach now is to compress it to only 4 words, "Hi, What's Your Name?".

Even that can be a bit much in the wrong situation, so it can be good to seek out the opposite type of situation :)

You might keep that on your mind but from there let things try to imply the rest of the lyrics, especially the part that goes "Can I Be Your Friend?"

[johnnyanmac]

>As everybody knows that's still often not enough, but why shoot yourself in the foot when you're trying to put your best foot forward?

Because the best food forward of a creep is still a creep.

[fuzzfactor]

>a creep is still a creep.

Yeah, some people are only up to no good :\

If you can't differentiate yourself from that, it would be something to work on well before you try and be as socially acceptable as the average joe.

For everyone else who's not a creep, maybe you just have to "accept" that everyone in the world just doesn't want to be socially acceptable anyway.

[mrweasel]

> Don't start talking with random people unless they start talking to you

How would that work exactly? Someone needs to go first.

Don't bother people obviously and if they don't want to talk they don't want to talk, that should always be respected. It's just that the idea that "you should never talk to anyone" is massively fueling a loneliness epidemic.

As for interaction with men and women: Everyone seems to agree that dating apps suck and that people should just "go out and meet people". Good luck with that if you're not allowed to talk to anyone.

There's a number of people how are going to be creeps and disrespectful, but they also don't give a shit about your "don't talk to me rule", so now ALL your interactions are going be with creeps.

Talk to as many people as you can, but be respectful, learn to read who'd rather be left alone and stop if the person clearly doesn't want to talk to you.