[mlsu]

> Our family once bought a Nordic chess set my then-seven-year-old son was excited to use. He asked me whether we could play it together, and I said, “Sure!” He then asked me to put it on my calendar, and watched until I had done so. This was a devastating moment of sudden realization for me.

> Only you can answer whether the sacrifices are worth it.

Nah, not only you.

I think a good appendix to this article would be an interview with the 7 year old. If this was my dad, I'd probably strangle him.

[Aachen]

I don't know that someone who's barely seven can be expected to have an informed opinion that would be worth adding as an appendix. It might be cute, or interesting to learn about child development to see what they would answer at 7yo, or fun to have them read it back five years later, but not to inform your decision by all that much. Figuring out what's in their best interest is what a parent chose to dedicate their life to imo; it's the parent's/parents' responsibility to think for them, not to use their fanciful answers to prove a predictable point

Given the quote, though, it does sound like the parent is not putting the kid's best interests first and foremost

[SoftTalker]

The kid was probably excited and proud to have an appointment on his Dad's calendar. That moment and the scheduled chess game probably was a bigger deal to him than if his Dad just hung around the house all day.

[ipaddr]

The kid is spoiled. Many Dads work two jobs barely see their family trying to keep a roof over them and food. None of those Dads are beating themselves up because they had to schedule a chess game.

Rich person problem that they solved by not working. Most Dads working two jobs can't.

[Aachen]

I'm not sure it's spoiled. From what I hear of colleagues with kids, they would wish you came home riding a new pony about 12 minutes after you left to work. Another colleague was "gone" too much from the daughter's life and she wished that wasn't the case (he works from home besides like two weeks of the year). They're just not grown ups, not realistic, and (I'd assume) that's normal. Which is to say, I don't think you're at all off in that the kid's wish is to be taken as a loose suggestion at best, but I wouldn't say that they're spoiled just because there exists someone else has it worse

[jermaustin1]

> The kid is spoiled.

I can't tell if you are being sarcastic or not, so I will default to: I hope you are.

The kid isn't spoiled for wanting to play a game with his dad... and he isn't spoiled for watching and waiting for his dad to input "play with son" in his phone.

If anything the father is spoiled. He is a high-earner, who choses to spend more time working than necessary for the advancement of a career. And his family has spoiled him to the fact that he can get away with spending less time on them than they want.

If they were to then prioritize their want to spend time with someone willfully spending extra time at work, that also wouldn't be spoiled.

Spoiled is asking for something, getting it, and asking for more, getting it, and asking for more, getting it, ask... you get it.

The child asking for his father to spend time with him (even if he was demanding NOW!), isn't spoiled, because obviously, as the father has admitted, he has to schedule time for his child.

[ipaddr]

Spoiled is expecting and being upset you can't get something that others can't get. Having the ability to spend time with your kid is a luxury to most average folks.

The asking the kid to schedule creates this negative pressure. The kid would take the situation differently if framed differently.

Most kids if asked would never want their parents to work. Don't set your kids up that way. Teach them why work is important to them being able to eat.

The parents of earlier generations sent their kids away if rich or rarely saw them when working the fields 16 hour days.