[komali2]

This is a toxic masculinity form of mythology that ignores reams of historical evidence of effective ways of leading people.

If you want a good bibliography, check out the sources of any Dale Carnegie book. He went through letters, journals, biographies, and writings of leaders as far back as the ancient Greeks. His conclusion is the opposite of the one you're making here. The best leaders lift people up, not shout people down.

Others here discuss absurdities like drill instructors. None of us work on a battlefield, none of us are in life or death situations here.

We're talking about leading people in labor. It's basically a solved problem, but for some reason people keep needing to debate the effectiveness of "tough love" approaches. It baffles me.

[inemesitaffia]

Masculinity is fine in all it's forms.

[exe34]

Being a dick isn't masculinity though. In fact the Inuits consider it childish.

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2019/03/13/6855333...

Anger is a feeling, it's internal. Reacting externally with anger is a choice to be a dick. If you can't tell the difference, you have some growing up to do. Linus did.

[inemesitaffia]

Like I said, it's fine in all it's forms. You claimed it's toxic. Now, it's not masculinity. If it's not, why relate it to masculinity at all?

[exe34]

The whole thread is about overt display of anger being linked with masculinity (with or without the label of "toxic"). You said "Masculinity is fine in all it's forms." It is reasonable to assume that you meant childish displays of anger was included in masculinity and that you didn't consider it toxic at all.

[inemesitaffia]

I consider masculinity completely fine. I consider the idea of toxic masculinity used to describe actions men take as an intentionally gendered misnomer.

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=44630887

[general1726]

But being a castrated yes man is not masculine either.

[exe34]

"No" does not need to be said in anger. Being firm has nothing to do with being castrated. Maybe overt anger itself is a sign of insecurity and insufficiency. Do you think Linus has been castrated now that he behaves more like an adult?

[dzhiurgis]

> None of us work on a battlefield

Startups are absolutely like battlefields. Maybe even worse since you can't die.

[komali2]

Please, please be saying this ironically. If not I say this out of genuine concern for a fellow forum member: never say this to anyone in real life, you'll be mocked relentlessly.

Give a friend a pack of firecrackers and tell him to pop one off directly next to your ear randomly for a week. See if it feels anything like even your worse day at a startup. Combat is so traumatic you can see the physiological changes in people's brains.

[dzhiurgis]

This was obviously a satire...

[komali2]

The internet has broken me, I apologize.

[exe34]

Get real! On a battlefield, if you stop fighting you get shot. In a startup, if you stop fighting you can go and start a new life.