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by ta12653421
472 days ago
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>>you also signal that your only concern in dating in appearance a) first, i didnt tell her my assumption?!!! b) you are sounding like: "do not do any of those assumptions because they are wrong and listen..." - in fact: EVERYBODY is doing those assumptions/calculations when approaching someone, regardless the environment - so there is absolutely no reason to point out that my "behaviour" is somehow any specific to someone else - this is just disguise from yours :-) c) what about all this buff then: "why does nobody invites me on a date?" and "why do men do not speak to women openly" etc. and all this stuff that we can read everywhere, like: Men have to approch Women, so i did. And failed. And now you have your perspective, thats OK. d) WHENEVER you are speaking to someone in a club/socialevent/etc. your primary signal is appearance, so do not try to wrap this otherwise since experiments & data show absolutely whats going on. |
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You approached her cold on the street knowing nothing about her but her appearance. You don't need to tell your assumption. Women have brains.
> you are sounding like: "do not do any of those assumptions because they are wrong and listen..."
While I may have an opinion on the assumptions you are making, I am not at all expressing that. What I am expressing is that you are failing to consider important factors in your calculation, namely, the social context, and the impapct of the social context on the way your actions are perceived by someone doing their own set of calculations.
> what about all this buff then: "why does nobody invites me on a date?
This is about what happens in social contexts where dating intent is signalled, not in those where it is not.
> and "why do men do not speak to women openly"
"Speaking" here is not code for "invite on dates", and, again, this still is sensitive to appropriate social contexts.
> Men have to approch Women, so i did. And failed.
You have confused a broad (though not universal) social expectation that men should be the party to approach women with the concept that it is equally beneficial to do so in any social context and all that matters is that there is a woman you think you might want to date present to make it appropriate. This is...incorrect.
You have managed to wrap your brain around (even if you may have overgeneralized it) a single social expectation. Your success may be improved when you increase your capacity for processing social expectations relevant to your task to a quantity greater than one.