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by dragonwriter 464 days ago
> a) first, i didnt tell her my assumption?!!!

You approached her cold on the street knowing nothing about her but her appearance. You don't need to tell your assumption. Women have brains.

> you are sounding like: "do not do any of those assumptions because they are wrong and listen..."

While I may have an opinion on the assumptions you are making, I am not at all expressing that. What I am expressing is that you are failing to consider important factors in your calculation, namely, the social context, and the impapct of the social context on the way your actions are perceived by someone doing their own set of calculations.

> what about all this buff then: "why does nobody invites me on a date?

This is about what happens in social contexts where dating intent is signalled, not in those where it is not.

> and "why do men do not speak to women openly"

"Speaking" here is not code for "invite on dates", and, again, this still is sensitive to appropriate social contexts.

> Men have to approch Women, so i did. And failed.

You have confused a broad (though not universal) social expectation that men should be the party to approach women with the concept that it is equally beneficial to do so in any social context and all that matters is that there is a woman you think you might want to date present to make it appropriate. This is...incorrect.

You have managed to wrap your brain around (even if you may have overgeneralized it) a single social expectation. Your success may be improved when you increase your capacity for processing social expectations relevant to your task to a quantity greater than one.

1 comments

If a guy sees an attractive woman out in real life somewhere, is there any action he can take that would be appropriate? What specifically should a guy do?
just approach... Aproach in public places, where it's bright best timeing is during the day near other people... If you think she is creeped out say goodbies, most of the interactions you will either click in first seconds or get shut down. Don't be intimidating, don't touch her, chat with her for few minutes then ask her to go for a date... If you seriously decide to do that you will be surprised how many women are available... Most of the receptive ones I found where single and not on dating apps for various reasons... So basically you literally have zero competition, as those girls are not actively dating (especially when out of university)

email in profile

If you are not at a bar, club, church singles' mixer, or other environment where people go for the purpose of meeting strangers for dating, think to yourself, "oh, she's pretty," then move along. Seriously. This advice goes doubly at any even slightly professional event, like a conference or a technology meetup.

If you need encouragement to leave her be, remember that more likely than not, she's already in a relationship.