[fennecbutt]

As a gay man, why specify straight men? It just shows your subconscious thought of gay man = femmy = hr. Most gay men are just average dudes and you'd never be able to tell, no matter how many overly dramatic portrayals of gay dudes there are on TV.

But primarily, I've not seen a single diversity initiative for gay people in my life. Based on skin colour, sure, for women, always. But not once have I seen anything prompting or requiring hiring of gay employees ever.

[autoexec]

> As a gay man, why specify straight men? It just shows your subconscious thought of gay man = femmy = hr.

I can't say if it was intended that way, but that's not how I read that comment.

I took it to mean that there's a popular cultural attitude that straight men (and more specifically straight white men) are "problematic" and undesirable generally, while gay men are considered different enough from straight men that they're often given a pass in certain circles. In my experience, how many "diversity points" being gay earns you vs the deduction you suffer for being born a man varies widely from setting to setting. It's also been my experience that being gay doesn't carry the same weight in those same crowds that it did decades ago.

I have seen workplaces that promote hiring for diversity which explicitly included LGBT folk as well as racial minorities. Depending on where you live these types of employers may be much harder to find, but a good place to start might be sites like this:

https://equalitycareers.com/

https://lgbt.net/job-seekers/

https://www.diversityjobs.com/

https://pink-jobs.com/

https://www.lgbtqcareernetwork.com/

[bradlys]

> Most gay men are just average dudes and you'd never be able to tell, no matter how many overly dramatic portrayals of gay dudes there are on TV.

Let's not be obtuse. You're acting as if most gay men are completely straight coded in society. That's just not even remotely true. Most gay men I know are "obviously" gay to straight women because straight women find most straight men to be a threat. Code switching like that is very common within the gay community when present around women. Very much being more flamboyant than they would otherwise as to make women feel more safe and allied with them.

I have dozens of gay male friends (yes, dozens) and I have rarely ever met a man and thought, "wow, he's gay? I never imagined! Seemed straight to me!" It happens but it's very uncommon.

[swat535]

> straight women find most straight men to be a threat

What do you mean by this?

I have many female connections and don't think any of them perceive me as a "threat".. my wife never indicated this either, yet I'm clearly heterosexual.

I don't think acting civil with the opposite gender has anything to do with one's sexual orientation.

[bradlys]

Talk to them about how they feel around men they don't know.

[ProfessorLayton]

What you're seeing is called confirmation bias. That most of your gay male friends are flamboyant says more about the company you keep around (Which is great btw, and not a judgement call) than all the other gay and bi guys just going about their day, unnoticed.