[bradlys]

> Most gay men are just average dudes and you'd never be able to tell, no matter how many overly dramatic portrayals of gay dudes there are on TV.

Let's not be obtuse. You're acting as if most gay men are completely straight coded in society. That's just not even remotely true. Most gay men I know are "obviously" gay to straight women because straight women find most straight men to be a threat. Code switching like that is very common within the gay community when present around women. Very much being more flamboyant than they would otherwise as to make women feel more safe and allied with them.

I have dozens of gay male friends (yes, dozens) and I have rarely ever met a man and thought, "wow, he's gay? I never imagined! Seemed straight to me!" It happens but it's very uncommon.

[swat535]

> straight women find most straight men to be a threat

What do you mean by this?

I have many female connections and don't think any of them perceive me as a "threat".. my wife never indicated this either, yet I'm clearly heterosexual.

I don't think acting civil with the opposite gender has anything to do with one's sexual orientation.

[bradlys]

Talk to them about how they feel around men they don't know.

[ProfessorLayton]

What you're seeing is called confirmation bias. That most of your gay male friends are flamboyant says more about the company you keep around (Which is great btw, and not a judgement call) than all the other gay and bi guys just going about their day, unnoticed.