[marinmania]

I have a theory for the swiping behavior of women. When they swipe right, it will most likely be a match, and they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time. This strikes me as rational and reasonable.

For men, most swipes will not be a match, so less reason to ever think about swiping left to maintain a certain swipe pecentage.

Just a theory!

[globular-toast]

Another theory: when you swipe and don't get a match, that could be considered a rejection and women are worse at handling rejection (probably due to never having to learn to deal with it). Men, on the other hand, have to learn to accept rejection so little is felt when almost all swipes don't match.

[d4mi3n]

Most people (all sexes and genders) are bad at handling rejection, period. It’s why online dating is popular in general—a rejection over a digital medium is a lot less intimidating and less confrontational than the same in person.

[DiggyJohnson]

The rate and experience of rejection does not seem to be symmetrical across the sexes by a significant degree. Of course nobody likes rejection, but this point doesn’t really advance the discussion.

[swores]

They were responding to "women are worse at handling rejection", and if they disagree with that (as I do too) then it is advancing the conversation to say so, even though it doesn't advance a part of the conversation that specifically explains dating app use.

[dgfitz]

Men handle rejection poorly, I’ve seen it, as I’m sure we all have. Weeping, drinking, wallowing in self-pity. It can get bad.

Women handle rejection with anger, resentment, and vitriol towards the rejecting party. So much so that I’ve seen people get married and divorced because the man was basically bullied into sticking around, and she left in the end anyways. Happens all the fucking time.

[yieldcrv]

Women complain about the poor quality of conversations they encounter

We should do a study on that itself, because I think guys are having quality conversations, pulling teeth with an entitled beautiful woman they are prioritizing, and everyone else is waiting for the guy to lead and there is no bandwidth left! so guys spread themselves too thin to procedurally lead every new conversation after accumulating matches

while girls are particular on the matches

[rqtwteye]

“ Women complain about the poor quality of conversations they encounter”

From my experience in online dating there are a lot of women who expect the guy to do everything. He needs to approach and then also carry the conversation. Out of maybe 10 initial messages I received from women there was maybe 1 that was more than “Hi”.

[yieldcrv]

yeah, old Bumble never worked for me. I was attractive enough to be matched with but not prioritized for women to start the conversation.

It was very validating to know that Bumble dropped their one unique value add because women were afraid to approach and werent doing it enough

[mettamage]

> they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time

This is true. My cap was at 50 conversations at the same time. After that, my brain got fried (male here).

[rqtwteye]

My cap was maybe 5. Seems I have less capacity.

[mettamage]

To be fair, I was crazily driven and treated it like a job. Intimacy is crazy important to me

Edit: interesting that I got at least 3 downvotes for that comment. I don't mind, genuinely. It's just interesting. Different world views and all that

[rqtwteye]

People will downvote you for stating a truth they don’t like.