> > which could include sexual assault or drug use
Wouldn't any potion, including potions of healing, be considered "drug use"? Howabout excessive drinking by dwarves at a tavern in the canonical DM party formation ritual?
In the western world, a potion of healing is more akin to taking antibiotics, and imbibing alcohol has been agreed to be just a Regular Thing People Do, not a drug thing.
And in any case, yeah! This is why you talk things out in a session zero! If a player at a table is an alcoholic, they might not want to play in a campaign where other PCs regularly binge-drink. It doesn't necessarily mean the other players aren't allowed to do this, it might just mean that this isn't the right table for the player, or it might mean that the DM has to scratch out "alcoholic" as a trait for an NPC and replace it with something else.
Let's look at another media: movies. Do you ever look at reviews or the advisory notices to see if a movie will be appropriate for someone you're watching it with? This is the exact same thing but since the story hasn't been written yet, you need to agree with all the story tellers (DM and players) what your story rating will be.
Do you skip this step when it's your closest pals who can handle a gory mature story? sure!
Is it good to have a system for others to use or in public settings? Definitely.
Hypothetical situation: someone had an abusive alcoholic father, and discussion of drinking and alcohol brings up a lot of unwanted feelings, including anxiety, unpleasant memories resurfacing, etc.
You're suggesting that the person in that scenario should either suffer those feelings in silence or should just keep trying new groups until they find one that just coincidentally doesn't bring up those topics?
Or someone who was sexually assaulted should keep that to themselves, and if discussion of the topic comes up in the game and makes them uncomfortable they should just leave and go find a new group without telling anyone why?
Are you suggesting that you could just say "hey, these are things that bother me so I'd rather not be part of the game if these topics are going to come up", and either the DM can exclude those topics, or they can refuse and the player can go somewhere else? Because that's exactly what is being discussed.
Lay out your ground rules. If there's no way to reconcile, go elsewhere, but it saves people getting blindsided halfway through the game and then having to deal with it while surrounded by other people and potentially feeling very vulnerable.
So what if your dad died last month, and the DM decides it'll be a cool twist for his BBEG to abduct your character's dad gouge his eyes out and try to kill him?
It's good to be able to explain these things, and IMO a lot of D&D players aren't comfortable being the first one to say that stuff without an "HR" exercise to give them permission.
Well, if my dad had died, I would understand the DM has no clue, until I say something.
If I say something and that scene plays out, things are understandably ugly.
If I don't and find myself uncomfortable, that is on me to manage, nobody else at the table.
How are these things so damn hard for people to understand?
All that was true when I played years ago. People would intro the game, have chat about stuff and then get into it. I recall having tough conversations, and I recall just being a good human to the other humans as a given.
I'm not sure which side you're arguing for, but I do agree with what I think I'm reading - that you should be able to tell the table what you are and aren't comfortable with. And the new rules encourage that.
You are reading it correctly. The before game meet n greet was where everyone caught up with everyone else.
Maybe being pre cell phone has something to do with it all.
Where and when I came from, the idea of having to do a "might trigger" rundown did not need to happen because of the dynamics I put into my prior comment.
How about this mess:
Say one chooses to not talk about a dead father confident the game will play out fine. Basically omit the father in the pre-game rundown of potential triggers.
Then the scene happens, and major trigger!
Now what?
Seems to me one falls back on the very basic rules above and acts accordingly.
Nobody else would be blamed. How could they?
The result is the talk didn't solve anything, which us my point and lack of understanding.
Another POV:
DM runs a scene that is a major trigger for someone. Bummer.
Pause game, help that person, right? Take a bit and figure it out? Do they want to end play? Is there something any of us can do? Etc...
Blame and shame aren't the answers. Being a good human is the answer.
Seems like someone is trying to write be a good human rules. Ah well. They tried I guess.
> Why do you frame it as an "HR exercise" when it's just the people who are about to play a game talking about what they expect out of it?
Because they're so incapable of considering other people's feelings that they think the only time anyone ever does so is because someone cried to HR about something and HR is making you sit through a meeting to cover the company's ass legally, and not because anyone actually cares about how they make other people feel.
And in any case, yeah! This is why you talk things out in a session zero! If a player at a table is an alcoholic, they might not want to play in a campaign where other PCs regularly binge-drink. It doesn't necessarily mean the other players aren't allowed to do this, it might just mean that this isn't the right table for the player, or it might mean that the DM has to scratch out "alcoholic" as a trait for an NPC and replace it with something else.