[flpm]

As a second time parent, looking back now, that is such a good advice. On the first play-through we second guessed ourselves so much. On the second time, we knew where all the good loot was hidden. :) we felt so much more in control. The truth is that a lot of details first-time parents try to control don't really matter that much or cannot really be controlled.

[xandrius]

What are these details? I'm curious to know what to focus on and what not to.

[dgfitz]

Sometimes when they have a temper tantrum (at home) it’s ok to let them scream for 5 minutes. Usually when they realize you don’t care they start to calm down.

Letting a baby fuss in their crib for 5-10 minutes won’t kill them if you need to take a shit.

Start feeding them more than just milk/formula at 6-8 months.

They’re going to fall and hurt themselves a lot, kids bounce.

Kids feel your energy and reflect it like a mirror, and they hear fucking EVERYTHING you say when when you don’t see them.

Saying “no” is a good thing, kids actually crave structure, and rules create structure. And tantrums, see first point.

Always, always, always follow through. If you say “throw that again and I’m taking it” and you don’t take it, you’re setting yourself up for more testing of boundaries. Also, don’t make a threat you don’t mean.

I could probably write a book, if this was helpful I can keep going.

[pedrosorio]

> Start feeding them more than just milk/formula at 6-8 months.

This feels out of place. What did you do the first time?

[aweb]

We actually start what we call "diversification" (=eating solid food) even earlier in France: we were advised by our paediatrician to do it when the baby was 4 months old.

Apparently if you start early and have him try a lot of different stuff (especially potentially allergenic things like nuts), it causes less allergy problems later on.

It's worked very well for us, the kid loves it and feeding him is quite fun (although certainly messy!)

It's interesting to see how different it is depending on the country though!

[papa-whisky]

My wife and I found this super helpful for introducing foods: https://solidstarts.com/ (no affiliation)

[dgfitz]

Like, baby oatmeal mixed with breast milk. Then scrambled eggs, soft foods.

[flpm]

One thing that I wish I knew was the conflict between the parent short-term vs long-term benefits.

Imagine there is a big meltdown because the child wants a snack. The parents are exhausted and you just need it to stop. You will have a strong interest in finding a quick short-term solution (ie. give the kid a snack) because it will produce immediate benefit (end the meltdown). But in the long term that may have side effects (e.g. the kid will expect snack at any time they want).

The long-term goal (eating schedule) has a high short term cost (meltdown will go longer and be harder) but often ends up paying off in a big way over time.

I wish I had paid more attention to that, but I don't want to be too hard on my old exhausted self :)