[nunez]

Put yourself in their shoes.

They idolized a company that is known for top-shelf engineering talent and, more importantly, brutally hard interviews...and they just got an opportunity to interview with them.

You have no idea what the interviewee will "no hire" them over, so you assume they want perfection because obviously. You're deathly afraid of making any mistakes because not getting the job you've been dreaming about for years is not an option, so spiraling straight into the ground after your first minor oops makes total sense.

Once you've gotten the dream job, you now have to work even harder to keep it because, shit, have you seen the engineering talent in this place? Getting a "failing" perf review from your management sends this anxiety into overdrive, so you work harder to prove your worth.

Some people barely last under these conditions. Others will gladly torch everything and everyone in their life to succeed, whatever that means.

[Brian_K_White]

I cannot understand how anyone gets past 5 years old while still being this fragile as to think any of this you just said.

Everyone has some of these feelings but it's just a feeling like 10% of your mind not 100%. WTF idolizes a company? That is just wrong. Who raised someone to let them even think like that?

[BonoboIO]

Everyone is searching for validation and often times we seek it on the outside and often in the wrong place.

Companies don’t care about you, they care about the work you do … and if you don’t bring less to the table … surprise. But everyone has to learn it the hard way, some earlier than others.

[Sheeny96]

You sorta answered your own question there - it's largely, if not wholly, about your childhood experience, what validated you etc. Gonna sound very projectionist and therapising here - but I'd say with a 70-80% probability that op (or the myriad software engineers with this trait) had someone of significance in their childhood that gave them praise when things were perfect, or when they knew something.

[kirso]

Sorry to be passive aggressive here, but who gets past 10 years old while still thinking that the world and humans operate the same way you do?

Just because you didn't face it, doesn't mean there are people who tie their identity to work success... in fact there are many.

[Brian_K_White]

Obviously this exists. The point was to express that this is not a reasonable way to exist.

Something has gone wrong for an adult human to be quite this fragile. Many people and even whole systems have failed them.

It's not about being uncaring or unsympathetic.

If you sympathise with someone like this (the ideas in the comment I responded to here more than the main article) because of the difficulty and unhappines of their state of existence, you should wish them to have been empowered to exist in the world without being flattened by the totally ordinary things that the world is full of that they will have to handle every day in ordinary life.