| That would have been a tough environment to walk into, having your instincts shout at you there was a fight about break out. I think there are a lot more than just two types of intimate spaces for men. The best part is people have the ability to create new spaces, then keep iterating and trying new ideas. And even more excitingly they aren’t static, they can change and adapt to what the people in the group need. To use a part of your anecdote, that therapy group you went to sounded like not what you wanted or needed at the time. But one could imagine another guy walking in and see the facilitator with earrings and lipstick and say to themselves “oh this is amazing, I feel safe here knowing I can wear makeup and won’t be ridiculed” It’s different for everyone. Each individual has a responsibility to create and shape the world to be better, depending on their capacity, sphere of influence and ability to do so. Right now my capacity is very low, so I’m depending on others for support. But in the future I very much hope to set up groups or ways for guys to connect in a way that fits what I wish I had access to. One specific example of when I’ve these this implemented exceptionally well is a wood working group I saw. The premise is you come and do carpentry, but what really happens is trust is built up over time. At some point an thereshold is reached where newer people feel safe enough to share, and then were able to talk about things going on in their life and get some practical support and advice. It’s so rare so see such an effective blend of what you described as the extremes of brotherhood or therapy sessions. |