[astura]

My mother is both mean and dumb.

After a lot of conversation with her I've noticed one of the reasons why she's so mean is she doesn't seem to have the cognitive ability to think about the consequences of what she says or does before she says it or does it. She operates entirely on instinct and thinking through words/actions beforehand is a totally foreign concept to her.

[andrewflnr]

I really think that's a training issue, though? Not that training is ever easy to separate from "intelligence", but "dumb" people can learn to think before they speak... Anyway, I'm so sorry, growing up with her must have been rough.

[throwaway48476]

The most common cognitive bias people have is assuming everyone else thinks/operates like them. It's reinforced with the widespread cultural belief that everyone is basically the same.

[js8]

On average, it's actually a good heuristic, because people are mostly clones. You correct for that bias by understanding yourself and others better, but it takes time and effort.

[theGnuMe]

I'm sorry you are experiencing that. Raising kids is very hard and my guess is she has unmet emotional needs that she never received and doesn't know she needs.

You're a step ahead though being curious as to why she is the way she is.