[imroot]

About six years ago, my seven year old son passed away: he had liver cancer at a really young age, had a full liver transplant at six months, and lost all hearing as a side effect of the anti-rejection medications. It was a sudden turn -- he was participating in his school's holiday program on a Friday (spending the rest of the afternoon with me at work on his iPad because neither mom or the babysitter could pick him up) and had passed on a Wednesday.

My job at the time gave me three days off before calling to ask me if I could come back to work, with my boss and HR on the line telling me that they also 'gave me the weekend' (since I was on-call when it happened). When I said that I needed more time away in order to deal with it, they fired me, then begged me to come back as a contractor a few months later.

I was so upset over the things that happened that I turned them down -- it wasn't what I wanted to do and it wasn't how I wanted to be treated: I'm much more selective about where I'm working at these days.

[didgeoridoo]

Good Lord. I hope your manager took an extremely long look in the mirror after that phone call.

When my 5 month old daughter got her heart transplant, my manager at Salesforce essentially said, "be with your family, call us when things settle down." I'd only been there for 3 months. I took 3 weeks to get her home from the hospital, set up our new routine, and mentally reset. Didn't get a single work-related Slack, text, or call during that time.

Might have just been a great manager, but I think the overall culture was a big factor too. Not sure if that's ever really something you can pick up on during the hiring process, though.

[imroot]

My manager was just following orders to protect his job: he has kids and a wife at home and I don’t blame him, but, he’s one of the few bosses that I don’t keep in communication with.

I hope your daughter is doing better and is adapting to a normal life post-transplant.

[brucedawson]

My employer (Google) gave me four weeks of grief leave. That plus four weeks of cobbled-together vacation and unpaid time off was invaluable for giving me the time to deal with logistics and bureaucracy and then have some healing time.

I am sure that it is difficult for smaller or less profitable companies to "do the right thing" even if they want to

[mobilene]

I'm blown away that this was their response.

My oldest child committed suicide on New Year's Eve of 2021, aged 36. I reached out to my boss and HR saying I'd need some time away. HR responded by telling me not to report to work for two weeks. We'd talk at that point about whether I was ready to come back or not, with a possible extension if need be.

This is the way you do it.

[imroot]

If you knew who it was, and understood the culture there, it’d be totally on brand for them.

Large, global retailer with their tech center in the Midwest. Most of the long term goals were presented from Italy, most of my coworkers were there because they had been there for 10-20 years and were zombies waiting on their package so that the company could move their jobs to Dallas.

Ironically enough, when I relocated to Dallas, one of their recruiters reached out. I think it was one of the few times that I’ve ever been unprofessional and was laughing as I hung up the phone to a recruiter.

[y-curious]

Sorry about your son. I hope you have found a semblance of peace.