[waschl]

Something made me go immediately to the MCKinsey website. Cookie banner popped up:

> We use cookies to give you the best possible experience with mckinsey.com. Some are essential for this site to function; others help us understand how you use the site, so we can improve it. We may also use cookies for targeting purposes. Click “Accept all cookies” to proceed as specified, “Decline optional cookies” to accept only essential cookies, or click “Manage my preferences” to choose what cookie types you will accept

De-bullshitted:

> We track everything you do on our site. Accept it or get lost.

[micw]

Works also the other way round:

> PLEASE ADD BUSSWORDS AND OTHER BULLSHIT TO THIS: > We track everything you do on our site. Accept it or get lost.

results in

> Leveraging cutting-edge data analytics and user-centric engagement metrics, our innovative platform seamlessly integrates a comprehensive suite of proprietary tracking solutions to synergistically enhance your browsing experience. By accepting our state-of-the-art privacy policy, you empower us to deliver personalized, value-added content tailored to your unique digital footprint. Should you opt to forgo this transformative opportunity, we regretfully cannot accommodate your online journey at this juncture.

[itronitron]

I think screenwriters could easily do a reboot of Big Bang Theory using this approach...

input:

> you stink

results in:

> Your olfactory profile presents suboptimal aromatic qualities that fail to align with contemporary societal expectations for personal fragrance management.

[mbirth]

Needs the copy&pasted laughter at the end.

[edwintorok]

Lets try it on itself: > add bullshit: Paste crap, get truth.

Output: > Revolutionize your digital content strategy by leveraging our cutting-edge AI-powered semantic transformation platform to seamlessly transmute suboptimal textual inputs into crystal-clear, paradigm-shifting prose that resonates with your target demographic and drives engagement metrics through the roof!

Use above as input and get as output: > Use our AI writing tool to make your crappy text suck less and maybe get some clicks.

Slightly different one as input: > add bullshit: Bullshit Remover. Paste crap, get truth.

Output: > Introducing our revolutionary Linguistic Veracity Enhancement Solution™! This cutting-edge, AI-powered content optimization platform seamlessly transforms convoluted verbiage into streamlined, high-impact messaging. Simply input your suboptimal text, and our proprietary algorithms will distill it into pure, unadulterated truth nuggets. Elevate your communication paradigm today!

Reverse: > Bullshit translator: We made an app that cuts the crap out of your writing. It's not revolutionary, it's just a fancy spell-check. But hey, at least you'll sound less like a pompous ass when you use it.

Again: > We made an app that edits your writing. It's basically spell-check on steroids. It'll make you sound less pretentious.

Again: > We made a glorified spell-checker. It'll stop you sounding like a pompous ass.

Again: > We made a fancy autocorrect. It'll keep you from sounding like a pretentious jerk.

Again: > We made spellcheck. It'll stop you sounding like an idiot.

Again: > We fixed your typos. You're welcome.

Again: > We changed your words without asking. Deal with it.

...

[tgsovlerkhgsel]

That's a very bad summary though. There absolutely are "Accept it or get lost." banners, but this one seems to offer a single-click "essential only" option without threatening to deny you access to the site if you pick it (unlike e.g. healthline ("At this time, we cannot provide the full site experience if you disallow any purposes, features, or partners. Instead, we will provide a version of our site that shows 10 of our most popular articles without ads, cookies, or tracking technologies.").

[etiam]

There is very rarely such a thing as "essential" cookies.

[macNchz]

User authentication? While there are alternative methods, a very large proportion of website logins will not work properly if you reject all cookies and prevent them from setting a session identifier.

[andai]

>We care about your privacy.

>Translation: We'll sell your data to the highest bidder.

[ikari_pl]

That's especially true when they say

"We VALUE your privacy"

[euroderf]

"Our values have units of currency."

[foobarkey]

How long until people leadn that “essential” cookies dont need to be accepted

[itronitron]

it seems to be working