| So your "disrespectful" assessment shows me that either you did not read my post fully Honestly, I did miss that you made the point about reversing gender roles. I don't know that it changes matters much, though. My argument that asking co-workers out is no big deal, would remain the same in either case. Normal, mature, well-adjusted adults of either gender should be able to handle politely turning down a co-worker, IMO. or you are just trying to win. ^sigh^ - Win what exactly? I don't know about you, but I'm not in a debate or a contest of any sort here. There are no winners, or losers or anything else. It's just a friendly discussion, for crying out loud. Why does someone have to be "mature and well-adjusted" to be employed in this country. They don't have to be, but I'm operating on the assumption that most people are. And I don't think we should change our whole fundamental approach to going through life, to cater to a few people who aren't. Job descriptions don't usually list having to handle harassment as a duty. I never said they did, or should. You seem to be operating on the assumption that asking someone out is automatically "harassment" which is absolutely false. If I ask a female co-worker out, she says "no," and nobody ever mentions it again, and nobody treats anyone differently as a result, and we continue behaving as reasonable adults, are you really contending that someone was "harassed"? In a workplace, you have to cater to EVERYONE No, you don't. What if Sally (or Ted) was right out of high school and was not a "mature, well-adjusted adult". Then you help them become mature, well-adjusted adults. The context doesn't change anything in that regard. There are all sorts of situations a green, right out of high-school kid might not be prepared to handle. If that comes up, and they spazz over it, you help them learn and adjust and grow. A more appropriate course of action for Ted would be to ask if Sally wanted to get coffee outside of work, without implying any advances or sense of relationship (i.e. dating). An approach like that would allow Sally to decline the offer without the same kind of negative consequences. Sure, did you think I was suggesting that Ted approach Sally and say "Hey, wanna go home and fuck?" (or vice versa)? That would be silly in pretty much any context. I'm talking about politely asking someone to join you outside of work for some non-work related activity, where the encounter is clearly intended to be personal and might or might not lead to a romantic or sexual interlude. What are his options? He can go to a supervisor. If the supervisor doesn't care and writes it off, he will feel terrible. This is absolutely no different from the previous scenario. His option is to politely tell Sally that he isn't interested. This only becomes an awkward situation if she refuses to acknowledge that and continues to make an issue of it. Just like if the roles were reversed. Finally, just because you are a male and might enjoy female advances doesn't make it true for everyone. I never contended otherwise. |
Obviously here you've moved the goal posts, from "should have to put up with" to "should be able to handle".
It seems like everyone here has made their points and there's not much to be gained from relitigating. Why don't we all just agree that the thread we've got here so far does a pretty decent job of summing up all of our respective takes on this issue, and refrain from growing the thread any further?