[mattgreenrocks]

One thing that worked for me: think about what you’d do in retirement. Beyond video games/tv/your vice of choice.

Then start doing that now. Probably can’t do it to the same extent. But you can usually approximate it some.

You’ll be surprised at how life-giving it is, and that’s because it was a real desire buried under a mountain of “should.” And how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do, and actually follow through on it.

[protoman3000]

This seems like a really good advice. Thanks.

Also the addition of "how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do". This is imo a huge thing.

The decision paralysis and fear of doing and being what YOU authentically want - not somebody else, not some rules, not some abstract expectation what your future partner want you to be like, not what your mother/friends/teachers/mentors wants you to be like, not some "rational person" as described below, but you and you only - brings you pain and avoidant behaviors.

The avoidant behaviors come with a compounding cost on top and you can spend so much time not actually doing what you want.

[mattgreenrocks]

Yeah. It's a hard question, honestly, and I only arrived at a decent answer for me (indie software dev) after sitting with it for a few years.

A few things that've been helpful for me:

* HealthyGamerGG's Youtube channel (the quarter life crisis vid is excellent)

* Self-Care Tips For Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (a lot of people's values were given by their parents)

* Therapy

* Mindfulness practice

[grvdrm]

Curious: what do you want to do in retirement and how does that differ from what you do day to day?

[mattgreenrocks]

Indie software dev and play music seriously.

I’ve made a few apps that together generate gas money every month and practice music almost every day, along with getting instruction from a very good teacher.

Next step is buying out time from my day job to build my own business further. Also learning more market research, and marketing in general.