[protoman3000]

This seems like a really good advice. Thanks.

Also the addition of "how hard it can be to even figure out what you want to do". This is imo a huge thing.

The decision paralysis and fear of doing and being what YOU authentically want - not somebody else, not some rules, not some abstract expectation what your future partner want you to be like, not what your mother/friends/teachers/mentors wants you to be like, not some "rational person" as described below, but you and you only - brings you pain and avoidant behaviors.

The avoidant behaviors come with a compounding cost on top and you can spend so much time not actually doing what you want.

[mattgreenrocks]

Yeah. It's a hard question, honestly, and I only arrived at a decent answer for me (indie software dev) after sitting with it for a few years.

A few things that've been helpful for me:

* HealthyGamerGG's Youtube channel (the quarter life crisis vid is excellent)

* Self-Care Tips For Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (a lot of people's values were given by their parents)

* Therapy

* Mindfulness practice