[josephrmartinez]

Here is something actionable you can start doing immediately: recognize when you are jumping into habitual reactions in conversation. (e.g. problem-solving, giving advice, storytelling, devil's advocate, etc). I have a list of those here under "concepts": https://josephrmartinez.github.io/reactionsjournal/

Just chill out and try not doing that for a few seconds. Not saying this is always the wrong thing to do, but if your intention is to have your friends and colleagues appreciate your listening skills I think this is the starting point. Be more present to the conversation; responding to what they are actually saying and not just habitually reacting.

[prashantsengar]

I got a 404 when opening your link. I had to go to https://josephrmartinez.github.io/reactionsjournal/ then click around to go to that page

[josephrmartinez]

Eep! Thanks for pointing that out. I'll just put the list here: - Giving advice - Changing the subject - Dismissing feelings - Leading questions - Devil's advocate - Sympathy (e.g. "I know exactly what you're going through...") - Commiserating - Defensiveness - Static labeling - Sarcasm - Shutting down - Intellectualizing - One-upping - Storytelling

Not saying these are all bad all the time. Just things to maybe start noticing. See what happens when you just hold off on these types of reactions for a moment.

You don't even have to do anything. Just... chill. Be silent. Think about what the person said.

I've found this is a more actionable place to start than something like "read this book" or "take this course"