|
I don't know if this makes any difference, but I'm also 43 and experienced some pretty bad shit in my mid to late 30s. Read my other comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40156553 At one point, I needed three spine surgeries and two other nerve transplacement surgeries in my left arm, all in the span of 16 months. I was walking with a cane for a few years, a walker at times, and sometimes I couldn't walk at all. My spine surgeon thought I was insane wanting to lift again after all of it, though he said I was only the second stupidest patient he'd had, with the stupidest being a guy who started skydiving again only a month after getting a disc replacement. I also felt much the same way about decline in the US. This all started happening in 2016 when Trump was elected, and I'm ethnically Mexican. My niece's father is a "dreamer," an undocumented immigrant who was brought here as a child, lived in the US nearly his entire life, but never given citizenship. The climate felt pretty damn hostile to me and my family. I walked in a few protests, entirely peaceful affairs, hobbling down the street with a cane, not saying anything, not even holding a sign, and had MAGA counter-protesters throwing beer bottles at me, the police who were supposed to be escorting us ignoring it and doing nothing. But hey man, here I am. I stopped watching the news, got off of social media, and got back out there anyway. Life is a whole lot of ups and downs. Being in a down doesn't have to mean that's the end. The same is true in the opposite direction. I'm well aware at this point that my future may be far worse than my present. Bad things can and do happen. But I'll take what I can when I can and cherish the good times when they come. As long as you're still alive and continue trying, more good times should come at some point. |
I do intend to get back on the horse, it's just hard work trying to overcome the social anxiety of starting to go to the gym all over again, especially when I have all these extra negative voices in my ear and no positive/supportive ones. I go walking (5-10km) pretty much every day and I'm down to a healthy weight, which does help with self-esteem, but I'd much rather be and look strong than thin.