| > Making e-commerce sites takes time, energy, and money. Started off pretty strong, then... > We’re passionate about... > We believe that... Then you lost most of your audience's attention. People aren't interested in your company (yet.) Simply swapping the order of the sentences will be a good improvement, but overall the copy could be improved a lot. Try to completely avoid using the words "we," "our," etc. You should be saying "you," "developers," etc much more. Another simple thing is "benefits" are much more attractive and easier to understand than "features." Also the call-to-action should be above the fold and highly visible (like a bright, giant button). You can place the call-to-action in multiple places on the same page. |