[bennettnate5]

The introduction poses a bit of a false dilemma--there's a third, unmentioned choice:

3. Forgive the individual who has wronged you for their past actions, without continuing the relationship.

Forgiving someone for a wrong action they've committed is too often conflated with restoring that person to an identical position of trust and closeness in your life. Forgiveness is about letting go of the past--it doesn't mean you also are obliged to recommit to a future.

Choosing to put a person back in the same level of trust as that of a stranger is not holding a grudge. Choosing to end a relationship is not holding a grudge. It is simply a reversion to the mean--one that could lead to rebuilding a relationship of trust, or not.

[wccrawford]

I went through this with an online friend. I understand why they were like they were, but I couldn't let them continue to be that way around me.

Years later, we're talking again, and I think it'll be okay this time. It'll never be the same, but at least it's not nothing.

[ganzuul]

Did you set new parameters for the relationship, and they eventually accepted it?

[wccrawford]

No, but I told them what they did wrong and how I wouldn't stand for it. I also took away the avenue they used to wrong me (Facebook) when I split with them, and didn't reinstate it when we started talking again. We never really communicated via FB anyhow, so it didn't matter much.