[_kb]

Hard agree. I lost everything. Pre kids: working in a startup with long (but enjoyable) hours, lots of travel, conferences, tech meetups multiple nights throughout the week followed by continued discussion / dinner / bar hopping afterwards, music festivals, clubbing until sunrise and time with friends on weekends. If I wanted to do something, focus on something, or neglect something it could happen.

Then I had a child and COVID hit at the same time.

I switched jobs to an org with much more stability, predictable hours, and absolutely devoid of any passion. Combine that with immense sleep deprivation, no child-compatible social network, and society going through its own existential challenges. My mental health was comatose.

It's hard. It's really fucking hard, but you will settle into new patterns that work for you, even if that takes time. I'm now a few years in, have redefined some sense of self, work part time (in the same org, but a properly enjoyable role) and have a tiny human that my partner and I are continuing to explore the world with. It's an inexplainable experience that you're about to embark on. Hope you enjoy the ride.

[twojobsoneboss]

Yes, all the "it's hard" that you hear from others – yeah you have no idea until you actually experience it.

So glad things improved for you. Really once you're a dad, the only choice is to adapt or divorce. Call it copium or what have you, but you do what needs to be done, you shift your mindset however it needs shifting, and do whatever helps you (and everyone else) get through.

[_kb]

Divorce doesn’t stop you from being a parent. Having a child is one of the few non-invertable functions you can apply to life.