[toomuchtodo]

What do you do when the elders don't want to be involved and want to live solo independent lives in their golden years? One of my parents is dead, the other lives with us because of poor financial choices; out of three grandparents my kids have, they are all living their own lives and don't want to be involved.

And before we had children, we asked. Everyone was very enthusiastic about participating and helping until the kids showed up, and then we were on our own. Bamboozled!

[MasterYoda900]

Then you don’t have a choice and your complaints are legitimate, because you didn’t cause this situation. It’s not your fault. I’m not saying people never have good reasons to complain.

[toomuchtodo]

Fair, just pointing out the nuance and that each shit show has its own origin story.

[AndrewKemendo]

I don’t know how else to say it but it’s a symptom of a foundational problem of individualism and selfishness being promoted by society.

[toomuchtodo]

You're not wrong! There's just nothing that be done accounting for free will and a loose societal contract. If help is there, it might not be offered when you need it. If the help isn't there, you're gonna have a bad time. "Past performance is no guarantee of future results."

Discussing how things "should be" is one thing, and how to support people who have made the irrevocable choices they've made is a different conversation.

[times_trw]

The simplest way to get around that is to make it very clear that if you're not involved with raising the children you will not be involved with the children at all.

If you want to live in as an individual, more power to you, now fuck off and don't expect videos.