You're not wrong! There's just nothing that be done accounting for free will and a loose societal contract. If help is there, it might not be offered when you need it. If the help isn't there, you're gonna have a bad time. "Past performance is no guarantee of future results."
Discussing how things "should be" is one thing, and how to support people who have made the irrevocable choices they've made is a different conversation.
The simplest way to get around that is to make it very clear that if you're not involved with raising the children you will not be involved with the children at all.
If you want to live in as an individual, more power to you, now fuck off and don't expect videos.
Discussing how things "should be" is one thing, and how to support people who have made the irrevocable choices they've made is a different conversation.