[kmeisthax]

If you don't care about practicality, take all the even rows of seats, board the left window seats first, then the middle, then the aisles, then the right window, middle, and aisle, then the same thing again with the odd rows of seats. (Steffen Modified) If you're really dead set on perfection, force every one of those groups of people to board back-to-front, effectively creating a separate boarding group for each seat. (Steffen Perfect)

If you live on Planet Earth, don't assign seats and don't have boarding groups. Let people sit whenever and wherever they want. (Random) It turns out most people will naturally do the things that make boarding quick anyway and literally all organized boarding is a conspiracy to make boarding take longer so airlines can sell you faster boarding.

[mjevans]

Also selling:

* faster de-planing (this, and an assumption that people paying more USUALLY cause less trouble, thus better to seat near the pilots)

* the illusion of exclusivity (more important people 'go first')

* the actual practice of exclusivity (service is provided highest paying class to least) when things run short / out

* First Class, the one time I ever flew it, got meal choices that seemed actually good. Behind them it's always dry pretzel things for a snack flight or some mish mash of global fusion I'd never roll the dice on; or an overpriced stale sandwich from one of the stores in the area past TSA.

[hakfoo]

Last trip, I just packed ham sandwiches and cookies in the carry bag. I feel like a high-schooler on a field trip, but I'm not paying $10+ for box of terrible snacks.

Also, never pay the First Class premium on UK railways: it's the same sort of terrible box you wouldn't buy for $10 on a plane, but the fare premium was £20 on the train I took (Swindon-Plymouth)

[Scoundreller]

Can I pay for last-boarding/slow boarding? Not sure why people want to rush onto the plane that will land at the same time as everyone else.

Other than the carryon issue, but, knocks wood, has always worked for me (Note I'm usually long-haul where not as many people try to avoid a checked bag, and sometimes I'm no carry-on, just a checked bag).

[Shawnj2]

I mean you can just get on the plane last with the last boarding group

[BrandoElFollito]

> Let people sit whenever and wherever they want

That was done at some point by Ryanair or EasyJet in Europe.

Three were riots, blood and tears and they got back to numbered seats

[cyberge99]

They do this on Southwest in the USA and it seems to work fine.

[BrandoElFollito]

Ah they do? I was flying Southwest a few years ago (right before COVID) from Phoenix to Oakland (via Portland....) and the seats were assigned. I remember this because the whole family was scattered around the plane despite us coming in rather early and all together.

[kube-system]

You must be misremembering. Southwest has an assigned boarding order, and you pick any seat when you board. It is likely that your family was scattered around because of limited available seats when you boarded. Those who fly don't fly Southwest very often aren't familiar with the check-in process and often end up in the later boarding groups. Showing up and checking in for the flight in-person typically results in a late boarding group, because most of the good boarding groups are already taken 24 hours before the flight when online check-in opens up.

https://www.southwest.com/help/day-of-travel/boarding-proces...

[BrandoElFollito]

Ah ok - I must have misremembered.

This is probably due to the weirdness of that flight. It was our last day in the US and we were to fly from PHX to ODR at, say, 16:00 to fly back to France the next day. We were earlier than planned at PHX and there was an earlier flight to ORD.

I asked if we can take that one - no problem. It is only when the planse started and the crew announced that we are flying to Portland that I thought WTF??

And this is how I discovered that a flight labelled A to B in the US can actually mean A to B via C where C is on the other side of the country. Kinda our city bus or underground... :)

We met very nice people, though, and I had an interesting discussion about the US. My son discussed with a lady in another row and she wanted him to meet his daughters when they will be in Paris :)

[kube-system]

Ah yeah, if you were flying Southwest and did a flight change at the airport and you didn't pay for upgraded boarding, you would have been put at the end of the line for boarding.

I too tend to have interesting random conversations on Southwest flights, especially when flying alone. My hypothesis is that since people get to choose where they sit, they often end up picking where to sit by the vibe others are giving off, and it's more conducive to conversation.

[Fatnino]

The way to do southwest is not only to check in 24 hours before the flight, but also to book a flight with a nearby stopover where you continue on the same plane. When the other passengers get off, whoever is left on the plane can go sit wherever they want. Grab yourself a front row seat right next to the door. You can even get off the plane to look around at the stop over airport, you just have to sign out with a stewardess. Then you get to board first. Like first-first, before the preboarding/military/babies. Then everyone at the boarding gate can imagine what a big VIP you are.

[kube-system]

I book direct when I can. My preferred method is to play the 24 hour check-in gamble, and then size up the crowd at the gate.

If it looks like a small crowd, pleasant group of people, and a decent boarding position, I roll with what I got.

If the crowd is huge, cranky, with too much luggage, and I have a bad boarding group, I go to the counter and buy an A-list upgrade.

[Shawnj2]

Southwest Airlines was right the entire time