[irahul]

> I am attending a very large state school (over 40,000 students) and I am struggling to connect with people.

Though the crowd might make you uncomfortable, you can take solace in the fact that you need not connect with all of them. Friends, or close friends, are mostly in single digit for most people.

> I also have severe depression and OCD which prevents me from getting things done.

Letting the mind wander isn't a bad thing, provided you get some stuff done as well. Plan for small tasks which you can get done. Are you familiar with lexers and parser? Implement an infix(a+b) to postfix(ab+) converter, where `a+b` can be an arbitrarily complex expression. Learning Python? Build a web app which takes a movie name as an input(use any web framework), searches twitter for mentions(use urlliib2 or equivalent), classifies tweets as negative/positivie(simple bayes classifier or use a library) and assigns a rating to the movie.

These are just examples. Getting things done makes you feel good and can help you counter the "disappointment" you mention.

[impeachgod]

So the way the OCD works is that I HAVE to have my documents formatted a certain way (e.g. characters per line), the time stamps a certain nice number, or I get super angry at myself. I HAVE to begin and finish eating, sleeping, and working at certain hours of the day. It suddenly arose within the last 8 months or so and I have no idea what causes it.

[cowpewter]

Doctor. Go see a doctor about it. If you're currently a student you probably have some sort of access to free/affordable healthcare, even if it just means starting at the university clinic. If the OCD started after/around the same time as the depression, then fixing the depression might fix the OCD.

Right now they're just feeding off each other. A big part of depression is feeling like you have no control over what's happening in your life. The OCD might be a way you're trying to feel like you have control over something again, even if it's just the formatting of your documents or when you wake up. Then when you can't achieve that you feel even more out of control and more depressed and the cycle is just going keep getting tighter.

I cannot recommend strongly enough that you go see someone and get this looked into. I know it's scary, I know it might feel like it's too hard or like it's pointless, but just do it. It took my mom actually showing up and physically taking me to the doctor before I started to get help, and by then school was ruined for me, and so was my credit. I had declare bankruptcy a few years later to shed the debt that I had run up while I was too depressed to make myself pay bills. Not the best way to start your mid-twenties.

You owe it to yourself to get this fixed.