[BigHatLogan]

Wow, what a perfect description—“impulses happening erratically in my mind.” I’ve been trying to…get to the root of this in my own life lately. I also find myself writing feverishly during these states. I call them “soft manic” states, soft because I know that mania is a real thing, and so I don’t want to co-opt that term completely.

I had one this past weekend actually. I ended up writing about 15-20,000 words, but most of it doesn’t make any sense. I mean the sentences and paragraphs do, but there’s no coherence to any of it. “Impulses on the mind”, like you said. They’re really affecting my day to day life. I’ll have a period where I feel content and motivated—about my job, for example—and then I’ll have a sharp drop off where, sometimes for days, I’ll find myself in one of these down cycles.

In fact I’m unsure if anything I’ve even said makes sense. How have you dealt with these mental impulse?

[balb0a]

I recently came across internal family system model. I am testing it currently and it has huge promise. Very good book on topic from inventor Richard C. Schwartz: Internal Family Systems Therapy.

Also this is a nice podcast with therapy demonstration at the end: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f80xs3MN9mY

Hope it helps with making sense.

[BigHatLogan]

Cheers! Thank you for the link. I will give this a watch this evening. I’ve enjoyed a lot of Rich’s podcast guests in the past actually.

[noman-land]

This may sound trite but have you tried mindfulness meditation? I'm far from an expert but my understanding is that instead of fighting or avoiding all the chaos in your mind, you sit quietly still and let the thoughts wash over you and just listen to them without judgement or opinions. Just observe what is happening.

If you get locked into a particular thought or topic, first notice it, then let it go.

It's extremely difficult to do but over time this practice of noticing builds a mental muscle and helps you focus your thoughts towards what you want when you want.

[BigHatLogan]

Thanks for the suggestion! I tried this a decade ago, for something unrelated, and I recall it not having much of an effect, but if I’m being honest I don’t remember if I gave it enough time either.

It’s been circling around in my head for a few weeks now. This might be the kick in the ass I need to give it another go. The stuff you said about getting locked onto a topic is something I have a lot of trouble with. It’s been a little jarring for me to “realize” that you’re not really in control of your mind, just parts of it, and maybe fewer than we like to think. It can just have all these thoughts and patterns without your consent, so to speak. It’s the locking on / latching on that uproots me.

[nuancebydefault]

For me these impulses are mostly like uncontrolled pop ups of a kind of creativity. Somehow those appear addictive, my theory is, that is why they come in large bursts, unintentionally I persuade parts of my brain to produce new ideas. But too much is too much, causing overload and chaos.

I think it helps to make lists of things and ideas. Then

(1)prioritize. This will already generate more order and again some sense of control.

(2) just scratch out a lot of them, you do not need to follow all those paths. 10 or so can remain.

(3) only act upon the top prorities and just rely on the fact that you wrote down the gists of your other non scratched ideas, so you don't have to keep them all in mind.

(4) Some things of the list, you will find them outdated or silly after a while, so those become easy to scratch and let them go out of your mind as well.

(5)well done, you will find your ideas and way of working is a lot more organised!

[BigHatLogan]

Thanks. I love that. #3 and #4 are helpful. I need to get out of the "This is the most important thing ever!" impulse when it arises. My mind goes into a complete overhaul in that direction, and I find the whole thing incredibly discomforting. I like what you said about having a list of things along with priorities. I'm trying to do that a little more--I call them "anchors", things you can sort of rally around when the impulses start firing uncontrollably. Thanks again--appreciate your response!

[nuancebydefault]

For me I would call the feeling "overwhelmed", it might lead to a kind of anxiety.

I compare the lists to wishlists on ali or amazon. Instead of giving in to the temptation of buying something that is featured when you are shopping for something else, just add it to the wish list. At your next stop, maybe months later, you will see the wish list and say: what was i thinking?