[ragingrobot]

> Why would you presume you know what I want?

I'm in the same boat as k__ above. Some have been indoctrinated into an "asking is wrong" culture.

On my job, if you ask:

* You're given a rude response. * You're treated like an idiot. * You're told you're wasting the other person's time.

and many other less than ideal responses.

Given these reactions enough, one can get tired of it (or angry, or ashamed depending on your personality), and just begin to avoid the situation entirely by guessing.

Then of course when you guess wrong, see the above points.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

[chankstein38]

In my first job as an adult, my boss did this to me all of the time. I'd go into his office to ask him something and he'd tear me apart. He'd ask deeper questions and just make me feel stupid for not knowing things.

It definitely changed how I approach that stuff now and, as I've expressed in another comment, for the worse in some people's eyes. I have gotten reprimanded for NOT asking questions a couple times in more recent years and I'm confused as hell which is the right way to go with it.

My approach now adays is, if it's something I know to some degree or think I can find an answer to it, timebox to a small amount of digging before asking someone. It's imperfect and I wish there was a better solution but the only real solution seems to be expecting other people to be more gracious with my asks and there's no real way to control another person's reactions so I just shy away from asking.