[genter]

If you're asocial, and want to go to church but avoid the social aspect, ironically it's easier to blend into the large crowd than to attend a small church. If you're a strange face in a small church, everyone is going to start a conversation to welcome you.

[smcin]

Ok but everyone here is defining "community" and "social aspect" differently.

Do people here mean "community" in a very narrow sense of "attending a religious service for one hour a week standing in a huge room beside a thousand others who are essentially strangers"? Not like "group of friends and neighbors"? Or "not just a church focused on extracting tithes and acquiring new members", but "is genuinely concerned with its members' wellbeing, has programs and events, pastors/mentors know who their members are"? Or a more hands-off "members get a sense that they could call them if they ever needed help"?

> If you're a strange face in a small church, everyone is going to start a conversation to welcome you.

Umm, ok, how is that bad? I'd just chat with them, limit any excessively personal disclosures or nosiness. I think the glass is half full if they simply want to get to know you without any ulterior motive [e.g. converting your entire family], that's pretty rare.

[genter]

> Ok but everyone here is defining "community" and "social aspect" differently.

indeed.

> Umm, ok, how is that bad?

Like I started my comment off with, "If you are asocial". I was really thinking of myself when I wrote that, although I'm an atheist. I think this is ridiculously difficult for some people to comprehend, and I have completely cut people out of my life because of it, but it is genuinely exhausting to have a conversation with someone, especially someone I don't know.

[smcin]

I had read that you wrote asocial. The definitions I found for that were not "finding conversations with strangers exhausting", only "avoiding social interaction"; "lack of motivation to engage in social interaction, or a preference for solitary activities". Your personal experience sounds like the extreme or rarer case. (I and many people I know have been called asocial at times.)

Given that context, in what ways do you find it preferable to attend a (large) church instead of streaming online, or visiting a church when a service isn't on? Does it give you a sense of community, and if so how do you define community for you?

[nunez]

doubly so if you're a black dude in a majority-white church. (this happened to me.)

it's very uncomfortable.

you're also a prime target for any and all volunteering activities. great if you really love the church; unbelievably awkward otherwise.

i went to a mega-church once. (hillsong nyc in 2011.) it was a weird experience that i didn't want to do again, but they definitely put together a really nice product, and you could absolutely hide in plain sight.