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by public_defender 1035 days ago
I had to walk back pretty quickly and save the credibility I had. So I pivoted to something like "There is no 'or else,' you'd just better not--as in it would really be better if you did not. I think you'll be pretty sad and miserable if you do that."

This turned out to be a step down the correct path, even if pretty embarrassing in the moment. Someone with a better relationship with the kid stepped in and used that relationship to de-escalate, รก la "please don't do that because it will hurt you and I wouldn't like that because I care about you."

What I found to be key in a situation like this was: (1) focus on the person, not the behavior; (2) Have full attention on the situation; (3) try to determine/address root causes. It's obviously impossible to do all that stuff in real life sometimes, but I can try.
1 comments
em-bee 1032 days ago
why not present the consequences of cutting open your mouth with glass? those should be serious enough to make an impression.

> focus on the person, not the behavior

what does that mean? or how do you do that? when it comes to bad behavior, i want to show them that their behavior is problematic, and not judge the person. so if i should focus on the person, that needs to be qualified that it's not about punishment or threats but something else. but i don't know what that would be.

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