[solarmist]

* How to feel my emotions and not suppress them or push them away. And why that matters in everyday life.

* The power of letting go of perceived control or outcomes and just focusing on what I can do now in the moment.

* How to be open and vulnerable and why it matters for building relationships.

[itsmemattchung]

> * How to feel my emotions and not suppress them or push them away. And why that matters in everyday life.

Yes!! This is huge. Feeling emotions is so critical and a fundamental skill learned in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). And if I can add to that, NAMING the emotion itself levels one up too. As you mentioned, somatically feeling (e.g. "my heart is racing faster than it normally does", "I am starting to sweat", "my throat is constricting") goes a long way and if you can accurately identify the emotion (e.g. fear, anxiety, anger) then you are on the path to mastering emotional regulation.

[solarmist]

Yup! Berne Brown’s Atlas of the Heart is great for this because it's a big list of emotions with detailed explanations of each.

[_ink_]

Wow, how did you do that? Any advice?

[solarmist]

Not really advice, but I can share what I went through.

It started happening on its own once I found a way to feel safe and secure. I grew up never having felt completely safe even at home because my father was alcoholic so I had a chaotic home life. And I learned that I always needed to be on guard even at home or in my room.

So quitting my job and letting my wife totally support us for a 6 months while I reassessed my life and let go of being the “breadwinner”/man of the house was key. But hard. I made SV money and she makes $18/hr. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the scariest.

But Berne Brown was a powerful voice to help me choose a direction and learning how to connect with others.

Just feeling empathy for others isn’t enough. People will be suspicious or think you’re fake if you don’t reciprocate openness/vulnerability.