[solarmist]

Not really advice, but I can share what I went through.

It started happening on its own once I found a way to feel safe and secure. I grew up never having felt completely safe even at home because my father was alcoholic so I had a chaotic home life. And I learned that I always needed to be on guard even at home or in my room.

So quitting my job and letting my wife totally support us for a 6 months while I reassessed my life and let go of being the “breadwinner”/man of the house was key. But hard. I made SV money and she makes $18/hr. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. And the scariest.

But Berne Brown was a powerful voice to help me choose a direction and learning how to connect with others.

Just feeling empathy for others isn’t enough. People will be suspicious or think you’re fake if you don’t reciprocate openness/vulnerability.