[sidewndr46]

You do realize that setting a budget is by definition controlling behavior? You are controlling the expenditure of the household. I'm not suggesting you are wrong for that, but it is controlling behavior. So your wife observed controlling behavior and then equated it to something in her past.

[helpfulmandrill]

It isn't controlling behaviour if you both have equal input into designing the budget, and both agree to and support the idea of having a budget in the first place.

[em-bee]

it can be intended to be not controlling, but perceived as such. i used to do accounting to track and understand my own behavior. and when i tried that after getting married on all our expenses, the point was not to control her but to understand our expenses and allow for self control or restraint if necessary (realizing that you spend $100 on coffee each month can help you change your behavior). but it made my wife uncomfortable.

[sidewndr46]

If you read the post, it's clear that is not what happened here. OP set the budget. Wife did not follow it.

[itsmemattchung]

There’s a I’me assumptions that were made here. To clarify, we set the budget together.

[sidewndr46]

Based on the account you provided, your wife only agreed to it as a matter of conversation. Not as a matter of practice.