|
|
|
|
|
|
by praash
1123 days ago
|
|
|
Yes, plenty of (bad) feedback is given in good faith, but I think there's a line where generosity ends and "feedback" becomes a hurtful one-sided channel of emotional venting. It only serves one person, at best. Would you call it a gift if a visiting neighbour brought a smelly trash bag to your door while screaming at you for "looking like a dead squirrel"? They certainly took the time to carry that leaky bag, think of a sequence of helpful words to tell you, and even risk damaging their vocal cords! They certainly weren't obligated to do so, either. A slap in the face isn't necessarily "a generous act of ancient Egyptian medicinal practice to prevent disease". We don't have to accept all "gifts" as gifts, so we certainly don't have to call any hurtful garbage as "feedback" in the first place. We don't have obligation to take it as a generous act, either -- wouldn't this make us feel guilty about feeling hurt? I don't intend to be mean or snarky. Your comment made me think and come up with this sort of "insight". |
|
|
My working definition of feedback is “things I tell you about something you did with the intent to help you do better next time,” which does warrant the “feedback is a gift” mentality, even if the feedback is poorly delivered, misguided, or wrong. The opposite of love is not hate, it’s apathy.
As other have mentioned, sometimes people say things to you that are not feedback, and are primarily them seeking status, expressing hurt, etc. a caution though that “this person is just having a bad day” is an easy, universal response for dismissing valid but critical feedback.