[hythloday]

It's funny you should mention ties, I thought of exactly the same analogy. :)

But again, I think it's frankly weird that when someone makes a request for consensus you start talking about "rules" that are "dictated" that "ban" speech. Would you call a co-worker who was older than you "mum"? Probably not. Are you "banned" from doing so? No. Was that a "rule" that was "dictated"? No.

I'll just point this out:

The words "boy" and "girl" are usually used for endearment The correct counterpart to the use of girl seems to be guy

From my point of view (and I don't mean this insultingly--I have felt almost identically and it wasn't out of malice), your concern to not be dictated to is not a resistance to authority but an (unconscious) attempt to perpetuate a sexist status quo.

[deathwarmedover]

You caveat that last point well, but I think you're just speculating on this person's subconscious motivations and assuming the worst.

I felt similarly that the original comment was not a request for consensus, but more of a loaded question implying that it's never ok to call an adult woman a girl (which is why I asked the OP to elaborate elsewhere in the thread).