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I have been really picky about the people I mix with, and yet it has not hindered me from having meaningful relationships. What I do and what I suggest you do is to find interest groups. I am active culturally all my life. And I took part in a lot of cultural programs and started organizing ones early in life. Even if you stay in touch with 20% of the people that you meet, you can be "friends" with 1-2% of people. Actively participate in your local interest groups: book club, sports, music, charity, programming groups, community service- whatever things you like. And focus on those activities. You will make friends naturally. I am very active in drama, books, badminton, charity, quizzes, etc. Even if not weekly meetup things, try and host programs once a year with people. Take active part. You will find the time. One thing I would like to add is you have to understand that making close friends is also about sharing their problems, their pasts. You will have to sacrifice now and then to maintain long-term relationships. Very close friends (which should be a small number of people) are like family. You have to invest in them, and put necessary effort. |
Gee, thanks.
I guess it's still not clear for some how introversion works. Group activities with friends are OK, group activities with strangers drain me for weeks and are not my idea of fun.
I'd find it more meaningful to host a group than to join one, but it's an order of magnitude more work and still as draining.
Even programming groups sounds dreadful, but I'd enjoy mentoring people 1:1 or 1:2.