[tomcam]

Loved my job for the past 40 years. Taught myself programming, always keeping an eye on preparing for jobs that most other programmers would find difficult but that I also liked. Started with games, went to embedded, then compilers, then PM, then started a good business, now retired but working on static site generator.

Proposed my strategy to my wife before we got married. I only took jobs that I would enjoy, and didn’t worry about the money much. She is a far better programmer than I am, but didn’t particularly like it. We both knew if both of us worked, we would just come home and complain to each other. She was very happy as a housewife.

Since they were programming jobs, they always paid pretty well, but not amazingly well due to my strategy of choosing places, I would enjoy working. I first chose to work in Orange County California, instead of Silicon Valley, for example, because I always felt the latter was just too stressful. Eventually moved to the Seattle area when Microsoft offered a job.

For the first 20 years I always made sure I was close enough to work that I could walk or bike to it in case I somehow got poor and couldn’t afford a car. Yet we always found very nice apartments.

I always studied for my next job at night. my wife accepted that this was the cost of having a good life, and eventually when we had children, I had a good enough financial situation that I could quit work.

We always saved money for the same reason: if I were fired, I wouldn’t have to take a bad job due to lack of resources. I did get fired once, and I had plenty of time to prepare for the next job.

I’ve told this story a lot here, but it was a strategy that worked in both good times and bad. I immodestly think this was one of the smartest things I ever did.

[p0d]

I like you approach to life. Over a 30 year period l loved my first job, didn't love my second job, and now love my third job.

I got into self-protection in my second job. A mindset of, I am doing the best I can here, if it's not good enough sack me. It seemed like a clever mindset at the time, but doesn't now. It probably translated as I was unhappy and didn't feel valued. I am still unpacking this though.

[tomcam]

> A mindset of, I am doing the best I can here, if it's not good enough sack me.

Or maybe you just have a robust self-image? If it's that, I think it's a strong adaptation.

> I am still unpacking this though.

I went through years of therapy & many therapists. Got almost nothing out of it. Much of my childhood still lives with me for some reason. So... same here! One thing I love about programming is that it has far fewer of the kind of gray areas that I couldn't navigate as a kid. Can't tell you how much I love that when a program runs right, I can usually be assured it will continue to run right. It's totally awesome to have a job where you can be provably correct a lot of the time.

[p0d]

> Or maybe you just have a robust self-image? If it's that, I think it's a strong adaptation

Thank you. I think there was truth in my point of view. I always wished I could express it in a less aggressive manner.

I also had a difficult childhood. I'm in my 50s and still working it out. I have had a great life and have the most wonderful wife and two adult children.

I have found family, friends and work is not a bad order of priorities.