[unixgoddess]

I'm one of them, so I can answer you first-hand. Currently living off my parents, will probably kill myself after they die --- that's the only reason why I haven't killed myself yet after all. (Even though they only considered what was best for them when they decided to breed, I can't bring myself to hurt them)

[mrelectric]

I used to comment similar things 10y ago, today I couldn't be happier and consider my life precious. I hope you manage to find your own purpose and meaning that will make you feel alive as well. In any case, wish you all the best, good luck in whatever you decide and do.

[mgraupner]

Ever thought about changing continents? There are large Japanese communities here in Germany (and other places in Europe), perhaps you would get a more positive outlook on life there.

[unixgoddess]

I'm already in europe and hate it fiercely... that's a big reason why I lost all hope, it's supposed to be the healthier area already..

[drumhead]

I know how you feel. I'm not a lock in like you, I work and am relatively successful and well respected in my job, but I hate the stress and anxiety that goes with it and most days I just want to quit. I wouldn't kill my self though, I'd just get a lower paid, less stressful job. Stacking shelves or cleaning, where I can be by myself and not have much interaction with people. But I carry on working here even though I hate it because commitments.

[Llamamoe]

You might want to consider whether you don't suffer from any chronic ailments. I've always had this attitude, and in the end it turned out I've got a bad case of UARS and gut dysbiosis, compounded with on-and-off deficiencies of iron and vit D.

[50]

have you read emil cioran? i find hope in his dire hopelessness, oddly enough, but also a friend, a companion, someone who is there with you, sharing analogous feelings

[unixgoddess]

I get what you mean, but I'm the type that would rather read middle grade fluff than stick my finger in the wound...

[50]

isn't that how we make peace with it though? i'm thinking of suddenly becoming aware of a bruise and pressing on it rather hard to be sure

[unixgoddess]

But understanding the issue intellectually does not necessarily mean making peace with it.

Especially when it comes to the key question, why should I bother struggling today so that I can struggle tomorrow again so that I can struggle the day after tomorrow again etc.

What do you do when recovering from surgery? You watch TV to distract yourself from the pain, you don't touch it.

[50]

> understanding the issue intellectually does not necessarily mean making peace with it

well said

> What do you do when recovering from surgery? You watch TV to distract yourself from the pain, you don't touch it.

funnily enough, i'm remind of that scene from herzog's aguiree, the wrath of god: https://nobrashfestivity.tumblr.com/post/613347458700935168/...